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I coughed. “No, I’m asking what’s the threshold for the land? I can feel a natural spring under us. I don’t want to mess with it if the valley needs to stay intact. I assume it connects to the river. It could be a water source for Embour or other towns and cities.”
“You’re right, we don’t want to disrupt its flow. Would that tax you, though? To manipulate it?”
“Not really. I have some of my father’s affinity for water. I was thinking more along the lines of causing a landquake or fissures and accidentally ruining some of the infrastructure somewhere down the line.”
Casimir’s posture straightened. “You could cause a landquake?”
“Yes. I’m half Seelie fae, remember? I can use my witch magics to enhance my fae affinities and vice versa. Shaking the ground using underground water isn’t difficult. But there are things that might take a lot out of me. It just depends on what I’m attempting to do. Honestly, I’m not comfortable jumping straight to something that might take more out of me than I’m willing to give at this point.”
He eyed me. “Is there something you can do that would seriously harm you or your lifeforce?”
“Only dark magic would be so dangerous to where I could bleed my soul’s well dry. I’m not a dark practitioner so I doubt I’d to be able to kill myself by pushing too far, if that’s what you’re asking. I can exhaust myself, maybe drain some of my lifeforce, but I’d most likely lose consciousness before I ever got close to death.”
“How sure are you of this?”
“Pretty sure.”
“Pretty sure? Oh, good. Great. Thank you for clarifying. I suppose there’s no need for me freak the fuck out since you’re so confident,” Casimir said sarcastically, turning his head away.
A jolt of panic slid through our bond and I felt bad for him. He really didn’t know enough about witches and how mixed magics worked.
Tugging on his sleeve, I waited until I had his attention again. “I didn’t mean to sound casual about it. I believe I won’t be able to kill myself like that. When a witch exhausts her energies, they almost always pass out from the fatigue of it.”
“And if you don’t pass out? How will you stop if you lose control?”
“I trust you to stop me. I don’t feel like I’m in extreme danger because you’re here. Whether through the bond or screaming in my face, you’ll reach me. You can even knock me out and I won’t be upset about it.”
Casimir’s face softened. His lips tilted the tiniest bit, like he was going to smirk. Great, I’d handed his ego a snack.
“Alright,” he said, tugging on the tip of the braid hanging over my shoulder. “If it’s not extremely dangerous because I’m here to stop you, what’s the issue?”
My hands slid into my back pockets. “I think I might not have enough in me to do what I used to be able to do.”
“So you’re afraid to even try?”
I allowed myself to take a deep, cleansing breath, staring down the length of the bottomland. “If I’m not actually fully healed, not strong enough to conjure the power necessary to do something I once could …”
I blinked away the burning behind my eyes. It would do nothing to help if I wallowed.
“I’ve been drained for so long,” I continued. “—or had been, at least—I don’t want to feel anything like that again, to feel so weak. Too weak to cast a simple spell, to heal myself, to even open my eyes at times. No. I don’t want even a hint of that weakness inside me. Not ever again. I have a feeling I won’t react well to it.”
Casimir shifted closer, shoulder to shoulder to my right, following my stare down to the twisted lone acer tree at the other end of the ravine. Its thin pale branches were covered in bright orange-red leaves. It looked out of place, the only growth at the bottom of this rockbed and I briefly wondered how it had gotten here.
His left hand found my right, sliding it out of my pocket and clasping it in his. My skin hummed and our spirits brushed. It wasn’t as jarring as it had been previously, but it was so very intoxicating. I felt like I’d taken several shots of Lyric’s bourbon.
“You were never weak, Raven. Vulnerable in those moments, yes, but not weak. You never gave in to Sersha’s demands. Knowing what the punishment would be for defiance, you held on to who you were. You protected the deepest marrow of your character and it nearly cost you your life. Weak? No. You were strong and brave and I am honored to know you. I wouldn’t want you like I do if I thought you were spineless. Even when drained, you were never weak. I forbid you from thinking such a thing.”
I laughed, reaching for the back of his neck. I pulled him down and pressed my lips to his. “Thank you,” I whispered against his mouth.
“Yes, well, it was entirely selfish. I knew if I praised you enough I could get you to make out with me again.”
I bonked him on the side of the head and pushed him away. His cheeks dimpled and I was momentarily distracted by how adorable he looked when he smiled. I could almost picture him as a youngling.
“So, what you’re saying is a makeout session is now off the table?” he assessed.
I battled the smile threatening to take over my face. “Off the table? I’d say it’s been thrown far across the Pale River and has likely reached the Desertlands by now.”
He returned to my personal space, peering intently right into my very soul. The constant sexual pull would drown us soon enough.
