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She’s not making it easy on me with these one-word answers. Two can play that game. I decide my best course of action right now is simply to stand here, blocking her path, and smiling at her like a loon. Uncomfortable silence it is.
“I was interviewing for a job,” she says with an exasperated sigh.
Check one for Emmett and my awkward silence tactics.
“That’s cool. I guess I have a new favorite lunch spot then. I hear their sandwiches are delicious,” I tell her and take another step closer to her.
Her mouth drops open and I can actually hear her breath hitch. I can tell she’s fighting the urge to say more, but instead, she turns to walk away again. I decide to let her go this time. Satisfied with the shade of pink on her cheeks as she turned away from me.
“Bye Aubrey,” I call after her.
She doesn’t respond. At all.
I turn back around, chuckling to myself, and head to my original destination.
I’m not sure why I get as much pleasure as I do out of making that girl so upset. She’s nowhere near the type of girl I would usually go after. I’m typically a cheerleader or prom queen girl chaser. No, scratch that. I’m not a chaser. The ladies usually come to me. I walk into a room and the first girl I make eye contact with is usually drooling and hanging off me within an hour.
Maybe the cancer treatments altered my brain, or maybe I need to get laid.
“Onion rings. Pronto,” I say as I walk through the door to Grissoms sports store.
Ender’s leaning over a pile of boxes, restocking a rack of golf balls. He looks up at me, then checks the time on his watch.
“I’ve got five more minutes before I can clock out,” he says, returning to his box of golf balls.
I pick up a football from a nearby shelf, feeling the pebbled leather and running my fingers over the laces. I haven’t been on the field in months. Not feeling like part of the team hasn’t been easy. I let my memory recall the feeling of running routes and catching the football as it spirals through the air. The feeling of being strong and invincible. That sense of invincibility was ripped from me when I heard the words,you have cancer.
“Ready to go?” Ender says, pulling me out of my daydreaming.
He glances down at my hands, noticing what I’m holding, and his expression falters for a second.
I place the football back on the shelf and give him a wide grin to hide my moment of nostalgia and the feelings of longing it brought with it.
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
The diner is busy, but we find two open seats at the counter. Madison sees us sit down and comes rushing over, giving Ender a lingering kiss and me a quick hug. Those two have been giving Taylor and Jesse a run for their money in the most-love-sick, vomit-inducing-couple awards. She brings him an iced tea and me a lemonade. Lemonade is not my favorite, but I don’t have the heart to tell her that. I ordered it twice when I was early in treatment. The acidity helped with my sour stomach.
“Are you really going to come to the game next weekend?” Ender asks as he empties three packets of sugar into his drink.
I want to go to the game. I’d rather be playing than sitting on the sidelines, but I’ll take what I can get. Honestly, though, I haven’t seen anyone from the team since they all found out about the cancer and I’m having uncharacteristic anxiety over it.
Coach knew even before my friends did. When my doctors told me I had to quit playing football, I had no choice but to clue the coach in. I pushed too hard on the field and I couldn’t control my desire to still be the same athlete. It landed me in the emergency room after a particularly rough practice early on in my diagnosis. Thankfully, Coach was understanding about my wanting to keep it all a secret a little while longer.
In the beginning, we knew almost nothing. And what we did know didn’t look good. I didn’t want to scare anyone or deal with anyone’s pity. Looking back, I don’t think I was ready to deal with the reality of my situation myself. If I told other people about the cancer, the cancer became that much more real.
Even after I told my friends, I couldn’t face the team. I let Coach tell the rest of them and then refused to let any of them come visit me when I was in the hospital or stuck in bed at home.
“Yeah. I’ll be there,” I tell him.
I take a long swig of the lemonade. It burns as it goes down. If I don’t speak up next time with Madison, I’m going to end up hating lemonade.
“It will be good for you,” Ender says, “seeing what you have to look forward to. You’ll be back on the field in no time.”
I’m not sure I will be, but I appreciate Ender’s confidence in me.
My doctors cleared me to begin workouts again. I have to take it easy and I have a lot of weight I need to put back on. If I keep eating these onion rings, it shouldn’t be too hard though. As if I willed them into my view, Madison places a giant plate of onion rings between us, along with my burger and Ender’s club sandwich.
I grab an onion ring and pop it in my mouth. Not even waiting to chew it thoroughly, I practically moan, ignoring the fact that it’s too hot.
