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I think about lying to her. But when I look in her eyes, I know I can’t.
Even if it hurts her, even if she hates me. I can’t lie to her by omission or word.
I shake my head. “This is what I do. It’s what I’ve always done. But your impression of this life is tainted by what happened to you. The world runs as it runs. What you think of as legitimate and legal…those businesses are just as filthy, maybe worse.”
“Oh, I fucking see.” She glares, her jaw set.
I step forward, reaching for the one thing in the world I really want, to tell her it’s all okay, but she sweeps an arm in front of her, stepping back.
“Nope. You don’t get to touch me. I know what the life is, Papa. I know that it killed my mom. My stepfather.Your son. It killed them. It ruined my life. And yours, or so I thought. How can you even…”
“Carina, please, just fucking listen for a—”
“No.No,Papa.”
She turns, bolting through the door, and I head out after her. As soon as I’m outside the door, she grabs my coat from the peg on the wall, pushing out the door at the end of the hall, running across the snowy pasture, making her way to the reindeer pens.
I start to go after her, but a strong hand grips my arm.
Whipping around my fist balled, there stands Mama.
“Let her go,” she says, shaking her head. “She’s upset, but she’ll come around. Let her go see Leonardo. It will help. You have some unrest in Chicago you should handle.”
She hands me a tablet, the screen bright in the fading winter light as the storm comes in off the horizon. And as soon as I see what’s on the screen, I know she’s right. I have to deal with this. We’ve got some rogue detectives trying to make a name for themselves. Forgetting who it is that lines their wallets.
Trouble is, all I want to do is go after Carina, explain everything and bring her back.
But I defer to Mama’s wisdom. I need to give her space. I need to let her talk it out with Leonardo. He’ll have my back.
At least, I hope so.
CHAPTER13
Gennero
Fuck giving her space. I didn’t make it ten minutes before I trudged out into the snow to track down her dramatic ass.
Business can wait. Fucking Chicago rivalries and police payoffs going south are flaring up and as usual, it falls on me to settle their immature bullshit. Only problem is, I don’t give a ripe fuck about any of it.
Every-fucking-thing else can fucking wait.
Without Carina next to me, there’s no point in anything else.
It’s Christmas fucking eve. I wanted to sit by the fire, watch her and Lucy exchange their traditional gag gifts and drink some bourbon, then takemygift to my room and rail into her until the sun comes up.
“Carina?” I call out into the cold emptiness of the reindeer barn. She wasn’t in the pasture and her footsteps lead here and I’m already about to lose it knowing she’s out here without me. “Carina,enough. I have things to tell you, but you hiding is not going to get you the result you want. Or, maybe it is because your ass is going to be wearing my hand print if you don’t come out,now.”
Silence.
Nothing.
The weathered timber of the barn stares back at me, illuminated by the strung lights along the high ceiling, that pick out carved snowflakes and trees decorating the stables. One of the reindeer, Rafael judging by the low snort, kicks against his stall wall, then it’s silence again.
I stomp down the center aisle, dropping a little more straw into a couple of the reindeer pens, but when I get to Leonardo’s stall, it’s empty. The metal latch hangs broken by a single screw, and hoofprints lead away to the other end of the barn.
Shit.
It’s not the first time he’s escaped, but with the storm coming in, if she went to get him, that could not end well.
