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Bingo.That old saw about never letting the sun set on an argument was something Jack lived by. He was the poster boy for blowing up hot and cooling down fast.
“Hey,” she said, holding the phone to her ear while she opened the jar of Nutella as big as her head. Thank God for Costco.
“I was worried you might not pick up.”
She smiled at how easy he was making it for her. “I know you’re just being your hard arse self, Jack. You’re older, and it’s tough to effect personality change at this stage of your life.”
His indrawn breath was so long she could hear the ten-second count in his head. They had always pushed each other’s buttons and because his one hundred percent Irish genes made him more emotional, he usually cracked first. Time with Lili had helped him realize that he should be more conscious of the filter between his brain and his mouth but there were moments he couldn’t control his temper. Most of them involving Jules.
“I worry,” he said, the two words he had probably said to her more than any other.
She loved and hated how much he worried about her.
“I know, but you realize I’m not trying to stick it to you. This is just me looking to get things started. Stand on my own two feet.”
The line crackled with an unspoken retort. She was living here rent free and he kept her bank account flush so she was still relying on him. He was within his rights to point out her distinct lack of independence. But this wasn’t about money. Until she figured out her life, she wanted to feel something other than tired and inadequate.
She wanted to feel.
“I miss Evan,” he said softly.
Her heart keened at his pain. Not only did he miss Evan, but he wanted his own baby with Lili more than anything. They had been trying since the wedding ten months ago with no peep of a bump.
“He asked for you earlier before he went to sleep.” She walked into Evan’s room, immediately comforted by the breathy sighs that filled the room. In the first months after he was born, she would spend every waking moment playing helicopter mum over his cot, waiting for that catch in his breath that signaled difficulty. Surely something in her genetic make-up—her stupid gene, as she called it—would have a bearing on his ability to be normal. Might cause him to hold his breath or forget to move his head to draw in air, but it never happened.
She held the phone close to Evan’s face and on cue, he let out a sleepy murmur of content.Good job, little monkey.
“Hear that?” she said into the phone.
“Uh huh. He went down okay?”
“He was a bit fussy, but he’s getting used to his new room.” In truth, her golden prince had been a grizzly bear today, getting into a strop as soon as she put him down. She had let him air-punch himself to sleep with his chubby fists. Now, he gave off an angel vibe but no one was fooled.
“That apartment is too small,” Jack muttered.
“It has character.”
“Another word for small. I lived there with Lili, remember? The shower was a nightmare, especially for two people.”
“Ew, TMI!” She laughed. “Speaking of. Shouldn’t you be taking out little Jack by now?”
He sighed. “You’re never going to find a man with a filthy mouth like that.”
“You opened that particular door, bruv.”
The dense silence that followed checked her teasing. Jack usually had no problem telling her how he felt, so this hesitancy was new.
“We had a bunch of tests done.”
“And?” She held her breath. A pregnant pause, if you will.
“And everything’s fine. There’s no reason why we can’t conceive.” He sounded so woebegone she wished she could reach through the line and hug him. She wasn’t a hugger by nature but she’d do it for Jack. After Evan and Tad, he was her favorite person in the world.
“So you just have to let it take its course. It’ll happen.”
“If I stop being so impatient, you mean?”
“I know you can’t help it, but that kind of tension probably sours the mood.” Bleedin’ ’ell, was she giving sex advice to her brother? Quickly, she shoved the pin back in the grenade. “What does Lili think?”
