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“It is,” she replied softly.
Wordlessly, they got up. Showered. Ate.
By the time they were dressed, Cal’s mind was working overtime, and his gut was tight with worry. Whatever this was weighed on Millie, but he didn’t push her. He took her lead and followed her to the truck. She hopped in, while he went around to the passenger side and buckled up.
The early morning sun spilled diamonds across the fresh snow. In the distance, the mountains rose, their snowcapped peaks sharp and clear against the robin-egg-blue sky. Cal was nervous. He had no idea where they were going. Or what was on Millie’s mind. She was quiet, and he didn’t like it, but he knew not to force anything.
They headed toward town, and once there, crossed over Main Street and kept on until they hit a bend and swung around to the Baptist Church. Sunday service wasn’t for a couple of hours, but already, there were a few cars parked in the lot. Millie Sue drove to the far end and cut the engine.
She exhaled and offered a small smile, but said nothing.
Cal didn’t like the vibe, but kept quiet. Feeling the weight of something coming at him, he remained subdued as he exited the vehicle. He followed Millie as they made their way through the iron gate that led to the cemetery. She stayed on the path that had been carved out by the caretaker and continued along toward the hill on the right, Cal a few steps behind. There, by a big old oak tree, were several gravestones, the tops of them covered by a dusting of snow.
Millie came to a stop, shoved her hands into her coat pockets, and he paused just behind her. A bird chirped from the tree, the small swallow singing to the two of them, a song that sounded more like a lament.
Long moments passed, and when he inched forward, his concern grew when he saw tears on her face. He wiped them, shaking his head. “I don’t understand. Why are we here?”
Millie shuddered, her gaze lowered, fixated on one of the tombstones. He turned and frowned, reading the name carved into the granite.
Jaden Lee Jenkins-Bridgestone
An angel come to earth for only a minute.
An angel to look over us for eternity.
Millie weptas he turned to her, his mind turning back the clock, back to those dark days before he’d left. Could this be…?
“Millie?”
She stared straight ahead, eyes filled with tears, obviously struggling to keep it together. When she spoke, her voice was so low, he had to try real hard to hear her.
“I found out the day you left. That night, I went to the Founder’s Cabin to tell you. You were so hyped up about our trip to Nashville, about us going to the city and becoming something more than what we were. I didn’t know how to react to that. I only knew that I didn’t want to be more. I wanted to be us. To start a new version of us with the miracle growing inside me.
“It’s why I told you I couldn’t go. And I knew you hated hearing those words. You wanted out of Big Bend so bad. The things we said… Both of us. Awful things. You thought I was hanging on to something that meant nothing, but in reality, I was hanging on to something that meant the absolute world.”
“Oh, Mills.” Pain sliced him in two, and he took a step forward, but she held up her hand, and he paused, unsure how to proceed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I knew that if I did, you would stay. Because you’re you. I didn’t want you to stay for the baby. I didn’t want you to stay because you thought it was the right thing to do. That would have killed the love we had. We would have become broken, bitter people.” She swiped at a tear on her face. “I had hope, though. I thought you would come back to me. I thought that you would need me the way I needed you.” Her voice was small. “But you didn’t come back. You didn’t write or call.”
“I was screwed up. Hurt that you couldn’t see what it meant to me. That you wouldn’t at least give it a try. For me.”
“I know that now. But back then, I was so young. I only knew that I was scared out of my mind, and I needed to be here. I was going to tell you when the baby came. But…” Her eyes drifted back to the tombstone. “I was nearly eight months along when I noticed he wasn’t kicking anymore. At first, I thought, he’s just sleeping. He’s resting up because the next few weeks are going to be busy, what with being born and all.
“But he never kicked again, and one night, your brother drove me to the hospital. Dad was stuck in Bozeman.” She looked at him, so much sorrow in her eyes, it made his heart break. “He was with me with they told me that Jaden had passed. He was there when I delivered him. I didn’t hold him. I couldn’t, and for that, I will never forgive myself. But Benton did. Benton held him and loved him, and we buried him here.”
“I can’t believe Bent didn’t say a word to me.” Bitterness lay beneath his words. And sorrow for a child he’d never known.
“Please don’t be mad at Benton. I told him never to tell you. I made him promise. I thought whatever we had died the day you left. And I think a part of me blamed you for our baby’s death.”
Throat tight, Cal didn’t know what to say.
“I was wrong, Cal. So wrong about all of it. And I guess I could blame the fact that I was so young. But the plain truth is that I was a coward. And if you can’t forgive me, then I—”
He cut her off right there.
Cal scooped her into his arms and hugged her something fierce. That ball of emotion that had built up inside him exploded, and the two of them swayed together, full of their sorrow and pain for a shared past that wasn’t meant to be.
After a good long while, Cal gently let her go. He held her face between his hands and dropped a soft kiss to her trembling mouth.
