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I’m waiting at home for you to come and take me to the hospital.
I’ll put this in our special box for you to find.
If I forget to tell you, I want you to know how much I love you.
Our baby is the luckiest child in the whole wide world.
I hope it’s a boy, and I hope he’s as handsome as you.
I wrote a song about him already.
I’ll play it for you when we come home together.
Our family.
Xo
Joelle
Special box?Cal picked up the tin and felt his heart turn over when he spied a piece of masking tape, yellowed with age and curling up on the ends, with the faint markings of a pen that said: Manley’s Box. He traced the outline of the letters, put there so long ago by his mother.
And kept reading.
July 11,1993
Dear Manley,
My heart is full. Our little Calvin has arrived, and he looks so much like Benton, it’s crazy.
I’m sad you couldn’t be here, but I know the ranch has to come first these days.
We’re building a life, and I couldn’t be happier.
Please give Vivian and Bent a kiss from Mama and tell them they’ll see little Calvin tomorrow.
I have a new melody in my head, a song for this special boy.
I can’t wait to sing it for you both.
I’ll put this in your special box when I get home.
Xo
Joelle
Cal continued readingfor an hour or so, and by the time he reached for the last letter, his throat was clogged with emotion and tears poked the corners of his eyes. It was a lot to process. The love they had. The family they’d built. The good times. Somehow, he’d forgotten about picnics by the jumping pond, hay wagon rides into the twilight, barbecues with the ranch hands, and the dancing. There was always dancing and music. He fingered the last letter that was addressed simplymy love, and frowned because it was unopened.
He'd come this far. There was no going back. Even so, he hesitated. After a few seconds, he undid the seal and opened it up.
Dear Manley,
If you’re reading this, I’m already gone. I know the next few months are going to be rough, and I need to make sure you know some things. Rosie promised she would put this in your box, and I hope you find it sooner rather than later.
That night we met is one I treasure. Me on stage, singing with dreams of making it big, and you watching from stage right, making my heart flutter without even trying. I don’t think I realized until this moment that you make me big. Our kids make me big. Know that I’m forever grateful for the love we had. For this home we’ve built and for the children who fill it. I want you to know I do not regret one single second of our time together. Not even when you forget to put down the toilet seat or leave that godawful glob of toothpaste in my sink. In the future, keep a cloth handy to clean it out.
Promise me you will look after our children with your whole heart, and not with a heart that’s broken. They deserve everything. Bent is so serious, he’ll hold everything in. You might have to force it out, the pain. And that will be hard, but I need you to be strong. Vivian and Scarlett will need a woman in their life. Rosie is here for them, but after the pain lessens, I hope you find someone else to fill your heart. Please leave room for that.
Calvin, I think, will take this the hardest. He’s such a momma’s boy and truly owns a piece of me no one else does. It’s not that I have favorites, but our spirit is the same. If that makes sense. Please give him that extra bit of love, even on the days you feel black. If he doesn’t get it, I fear you might lose him.
