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None of us had the bandwidth to break in a newbie at this stage in the game.
“Not that I’m aware,” Baron answered, frowning. “I’m hoping they just forget the room’s empty. We don’t need anyone else.”
Ezra, our third roommate, peered across the table at me and took a swig of his beer. “Maybe we could turn it into a sex room.”
Ezra had been spacey all night, looking all over the place for one girl in particular and on edge because he wasn’t finding her.
Baron snorted. “Fuck that. I’m off women for a while.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “I have a hard time seeing you turn celibate just because of a break-up.” Baron had dated a girl for most of our junior year, only to have her dump him in spring semester. He was being philosophical about it, and he was well-aware she was a money-hungry bitch, but I think it had hurt him more than he was letting on.
He rolled his eyes my way at my statement. “I didn’t say anything about being celibate. I just said I’m off women.”
“Uh…” Ezra scratched his head.
Baron drew in a deep, impatient sigh. “I just mean I’m happy to fuck ‘em, but…fuck ‘em, you know? No dating. No getting close or any of that other shit girls like. They can get that somewhere else.”
“Ah.” I nodded. “Whatever.”
“No texting all hours of the day, or meet the parents, or anything else.”
“Mm.”
“I mean it.” His gaze grew distant as it snagged on something at the other end of the bar. I followed its trajectory.
Or someone, rather.
Baron’s attention had been caught by one of Sugar Babes’ waitresses, a fun-sized blonde with pink-tipped hair. I met Ezra’s eyes across the table and tipped my chin at her with a wry grin. “So, it’s bros before hoes, right, Baron?” Ezra’s gaze found the girl and sharpened, growing intent.
Ah.This must be the one.
“Hmm?” His beer sloshed over the rim of the glass as he turned back to us with a start.
“Dicks before chicks. Let’s make a pact.”
“What kind of pact?”
He was still sober enough that the question emerged with all suspicion. I didn’t blame him. I was far chattier than usual. Alcohol always loosened me up a little.
I leaned forward, resting my forearms on the table.
“Relax. I’m not suggesting that we don’t fuck when the need arises. I’m just saying we keep our eyes on the goal this year. Avoid the R word.”
“And the R word is?” Ezra asked, leaning forward in his chair.
I huffed a laugh. Ezra was probably the most intelligent of the three of us, but his genius lay more in math and statistics than linguistics. “Relationships, dude.”
“Ah, yes.” Baron nodded. “Okay, that’s cool. I can do that. If I had to give up fucking, that would be a total no-go, but relationships? Sure.”
“Ez?” I swung my gaze to him. “You in?”
He shrugged, still staring at the waitress. “I mean, I’m definitely going to be fucking. But that’s kind of been my life for the past three years anyway. Don’t see why anything needs to change now.”
“So, what are we gonna do if Chandler sends us a roommate?” Baron asked.
I squinted. “That has nothing to do with this. Unless he wants in, of course, and then he’s welcome.”
“We could always be dicks?” Ezra offered. “Try to make his life so miserable he just leaves?”
