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He covers my hand with his, squeezing it gently. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. It was a long time ago.”
I can feel my eyes begin to water as I picture a young Nick. “I can’t imagine what it must be like. Losing both parents.”
“It was rough. I can’t lie. And even though it’s been a while, the pain is still there. It’s more acute during the holidays. They died in an accident a few days before Christmas.”
There’s a sharp pain in my chest as I suck in a deep breath. And when I let it out slowly warm tears fall down my cheek. “I don’t know what to say.”
Nick turns to me and his warm eyes soothe me almost immediately. I’m the one who’s supposed to be comforting him. He removes the glove from his hand and places it on his lap.
My breath catches in my throat for the second time today when he reaches for me, his thumb scorching my skin as he brushes away my tears.
“You don’t have to say anything. I’m fine. Truly. You’ve done more for me than you could possibly know.”
I shake my head. “What do you mean?”
“Ever since my parents passed, I’ve ignored Christmas. I pretended it didn’t exist.” He pauses, turning his attention to the festive atmosphere around us. “To the extent it’s possible,” he adds with a snort.
He takes a few more moments to collect his thoughts, his eyes on the ground but his hand still resting on my cheek. It feels so good.
“But you’ve changed that for me. I was content with spending Christmas the way I always have. Alone and as far away from everyone as possible. Not to return until the new year when all traces of Christmas disappeared. But I don’t want that anymore, Eva. That’s not the life I want to live. That’s not what I want.”
My chest is so tight I can hardly breathe but I ask the one question I’ve been begging to ask with what little air I have.
“What do you want?”
He brushes my lips with his thumb. Strokes my cheek as he looks at me in a way I’ve never been looked at before. The way every woman wants to be looked at by the man she wants. Like she’s the one he wants. Like she’s the only thing in this world that he desires. Needs. Loves.
“If you don’t know by now, let me make it clear to you.”
I try to still my beating heart but it’s no use. I’m no longer in control of my body. I’m no longer in control of anything. Nick’s in control, and I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather want.
“I want you, Eva. There’s nothing in this world that I want more.”
“Not even that working heater?”
“Already have it. It came a few days ago.”
“You…”
He could’ve left the cabin. Could’ve left me all alone. But he stayed.
He smiles. “What? Did you think I was going to give up my time with you?”
I shake my head because I don’t know what to think.
“What do I want?” Nick says, repeating my question. “The thing I want right now is to taste your sweet lips.”
His finger brushes against my lips as I exhale softly, my breath turning to fog in the cold air.
I’d like that too, and when Nick leans forward, it’s going to happen. His lips are mere inches away from mine, but before we’re able to kiss, Juliet interrupts us.
“Nick! Eva! How are you two?”
NONONONONO!is what I want to scream at her as I feign a smile and greet her with a hug.
“Great,” I say, my voice a little tight and brittle.
I’d be better if Nickfinallykissed me. We were so close.
