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“Thank you,” Emil said, then bit his lip like he was unsure how to take the compliment.
Renzo was so helpless against his strange charm he couldn’t do anything other than kiss that answer from his lips. Emil kissed him differently this time—better. He kissed like a man who had done this more than once and had prided himself on his skill. His tongue danced perfectly along Renzo’s, his teeth nipping gently as he broke into a series of soft pecks, and just when Renzo thought it was over, Emil deepened it again.
His head started to spin with need, all the blood rushing to his dick as he rocked forward. Emil grunted when Renzo brushed his erection against the cut of his hip, and he wrenched back, looking down between them.
“Are you okay? If this is too much for you…”
“I just haven’t done this in a while,” Emil admitted. “And this feels a little…” He trailed off, then laughed and shook his head. “It feels like a lot.”
“How long has it been?” Renzo asked.
Emil swallowed heavily. “Well, life got very complicated last year, and…yeah. I just couldn’t bring myself to sleep with anyone.” He stopped and shook his head. “But even before that, it never felt like this.”
Renzo was afraid to read too much into what that meant, but only because he felt it too. He hadn’t had more than a few random hookups off Grindr since his divorce. Dating was difficult because his schedule was a pain in the ass, and he wasn’t sure he was ever going to be ready to bring anyone else around his family.
John had been charming with them, until he wasn’t. Until Renzo had a ring on his finger and a legal commitment. Then, he’d turned into a complete asshole and had done everything in his power to keep Renzo away from Matty and Camilla.
When that didn’t work, John changed tactics and spent his time torturing Matty, and the moment Renzo started putting his foot down, that’s when John stepped out and Renzo left.
No one was sorry to see him go, and Renzo knew on some level his sister blamed him for being naïve enough to get himself involved with a man like that. And she felt like he was too weak to break it off before people were hurt.
Hell, he blamed himself, even if his therapist had finally gotten through to him that even the smartest people in the world still found themselves vulnerable to men like his ex.
But he’d shut himself off after John, so he never expected to feel like this.
Ever.
With anyone.
And he hadn’t wanted to.
“Are you okay?” Emil asked softly.
Renzo looked up at the question and saw concern dancing in Emil’s eyes. It was startling because it was genuine, and he wasn’t used to that. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine. You’re shaking.”
Renzo swallowed thickly, realizing that Emil was telling the truth. There was a fine tremor running through his body, ending in his fingertips. He shook them out, then grabbed Emil by the waist to keep himself steady. He ignored the way that made him feel safe.
“I haven’t done this much since my divorce,” he admitted, “and the two other guys I hooked up with…” He trailed off and bit his lip. “I didn’t bring them home. And I didn’t know their names.”
Emil reached up and ghosted the lightest touch over his cheeks before cradling his face. “You deserved better than that.”
“Trust me when I say it was on purpose. I don’t do this.”
“So why me?”
“That’s the question of the hour,” Renzo admitted in a shattered whisper.
Emil didn’t let go, but he did take a step back. “Do you want me to leave?”
“I think I might die if you do,” Renzo told him. His voice felt thick, and he knew that if they didn’t get on to business, he was going to lose his nerve. Or he’d end up doing something absurd like asking Emil to stay the night and just hold him. “Kiss me again. And touch me.”
Emil snapped into action. He kissed Renzo harder, deeper, backing him up toward the bed as his hand slipped down the front of his boxers. Renzo’s dick jumped and spurted precome from the tip as warm, long fingers curled around him and gave him an almost vicious stroke—just shy of too hard.
“Like that?” Emil asked through clenched teeth like he was forcing himself to hold back.
“Mm. More,” Renzo begged. He didn’t want it to be soft. He couldn’t handle soft. “Please, please…”
