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Emil bit his lip and stared down at the name embossed on the soft cream-colored paper. “Will she make me go to AA?”
Dahlia shook her head. “Only if you want to. I’m not in AA. Not everyone does well with that sort of treatment. She’ll help you figure out what you need. It might not be what you want, but believe me when I say trust the process.” She took a long sip of her drink, then cleared her throat. “Sorry about your mom, by the way.”
Emil sighed. “I’m not. She’s why I wanted whiskey.” Emil looked at Dahlia properly and found himself smiling. “I think I just found something better than booze.” His grin widened. “And just so you know, I’m not hitting on you. I’d rather stick a fork in my eyeball than get involved with anyone right now. Or ever again.”
Dahlia threw her head back and laughed. “Good to know. And it’s really nice to meet you, Emil. I have a feeling we’re going to become very good friends.”
His chest felt warm in a very good way. Something that had never happened before.
And he kept smiling.
CHAPTERTHREE
Knock knock!
If he didn’t breathe, if he didn’t move, then he didn’t exist. Right? That old “if a tree falls in the woods” adage could easily apply to professors in their offices who don’t answer the door. Couldn’t it?
Renzo wasn’t even supposed to be there, but the last email he’d gotten from Oliver had begged him for a favor, and Renzo had always been a goddamn pushover. He’d just finished uploading the last of Oliver’s grades, saying a quick prayer that no one audited their system logins, and someone must have seen the light on under his door.
He wanted to sit back, but Oliver’s chair was all creaky and loud.
There was a third knock before the person gave up, and he waited an extra minute and thirty seconds before finally letting out a slow breath and easing himself into a more reclined position. God, his back was hurting.
He blamed all the wood chopping, but once upon a time, he’d been able to take care of all his household crap without feeling like his spine was trying to crawl out through his tailbone. It was exactly enough wood to take care of the week’s fire though, which would make his brother happy since Matty had to have his fire at exactly five fifteen every single day—even when it was summer and sweltering.
He blamed his parents for that one and his sister for continuing that part of the routine after their parents died and she took over the house. And he blamed himself for giving in every time Matty threw a hissy fit when someone was even a minute late getting the fire started.
And since his sister was out of the country for the next month and a half, all of Matty’s routines and responsibilities were now his. Not that Renzo had a leg to stand on when it came to complaints. Camilla had offered to become their brother’s full-time caregiver since Renzo was a professor, and that didn’t allow a lot of room for him to be home with his brother. The very least he could do was use his free time in between semesters to take some of the load off and let his sister get away for a few weeks.
And it gave him extra time to spend with Matty, which was one of the only bright spots in Renzo’s life. Matty was so much younger than him, but he was probably Renzo’s absolute best friend, and he wouldn’t change that for the world. Camilla was cold and stingy with her affection, but Matty was always ready to soften some of the sharp edges when Renzo’s days were bad.
And there were a lot of bad days since Renzo and his ex split up. He wasn’t exactly sure what he would have done if Matty hadn’t been there, and the more space Renzo was getting from John, the more he realized a relationship with his remaining family wasn’t just a want.
It was a need. And he wouldn’t trade either of his siblings for the world.
Camilla was older by three years, and for so long, it had just been the two of them. He remembered his mom saying she was going through menopause for a while, but then she came back from the doctor one afternoon, looking stunned. It was menopause. But it was also a pregnancy, and it was complicated.
Their parents told them they weren’t sure how it was going to go and if a baby would even be born, but nine months stretched out like an eternity, and his mom got bigger and short-tempered, and she was tired all the time and in bed most of the day.
Then one night, there was screaming and his dad peeling out of the driveway and, ten hours later, a phone call that his brother was born, and everyone was fine.
Mostly. At least, it was fine for a while.
But then things with Matty started to be less fine. He had heart surgery when he was a month old, and he wasn’t meeting his milestones. He never cried, but he didn’t sit up when he was supposed to or walk when he was supposed to, and he was so, so incredibly tiny.
He remembered the feeling of confusion and a little fear after a long series of medical tests had come back with more information than Renzo could have even started processing back then with his young, teenage brain. Their parents had sat them down with somber faces and eventually explained what Matty had: Williams syndrome.
They kept it simple—that he was born without certain genes, and that would make life a little different for him. They wouldn’t know how different until he got a little older, but he was probably going to need some help being independent for the rest of his life. He would probably have learning and intellectual disabilities, and he would always struggle with his heart. His health wouldn’t be the worst, but it also wouldn’t be the best.
He’d need to be carefully monitored all the time and on meds for his entire life. And even then, it might not be enough.
But Renzo and Camilla hadn’t really considered what that would mean. They were still at the age where everyone and everything seemed so…immortal. And Matty always seemed so alive.
Renzo didn’t really face the idea of mortality until he was thirty-three and woke up to the phone ringing at two in the morning. It was the one call he’d never wanted to get. His dad had been rushed into the hospital after a fall, but there was nothing they could do.
He was gone an hour later.
And then their mom followed twenty-six months later, and Renzo was convinced it was from a broken heart.
