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“I—” But maybe he was mean. Maybe Emil needed someone to take him seriously, and Renzo had just brushed off his panic like it was nothing. Like his feelings meant nothing. Fuck.
Fuck!
“Just let me?—”
“He’s here! He’s…his car! He’s here!” Matty screamed loud enough to make Renzo’s ears start ringing, and before he could react, his brother was flying out the front door and hurtling down the driveway.
Following his brother, Renzo immediately soaked his socks in melted snow. “Argh!” he shouted, trying to hop out of the slush. “Do not run in front of the car, Mattia! Stop right now!”
Matty came to a skidding halt before the edge of the driveway, but it was obvious Emil had seen him because he’d slowed his drive to a crawl. Renzo’s heart was beating out of his chest, and he was uncomfortable and cold, and his feet were wet, and everything was terrible.
Except everything was also wonderful because Emil was there.
Nothing had been ruined.
“—so sorry,” Emil was saying as Matty all but dragged him from the driver’s seat. “I got a flat tire, and when I was on the phone for help, it died, and by the time I got it hooked up to my car?—”
“I forgive you. Did you bring me any presents? Did you know you’re supposed to bring presents for Christmas? Are you Jewish?”
“Matty!” Renzo shouted.
Matty turned and offered his brother a sheepish look. “I’m not being greedy.”
“Right. Sure. Go inside before you get frostbite on your toes, please.” He pointed at the house and gave Matty his most serious face until his brother rolled his eyes, groaned loud enough to scare the birds from the pine tree in the front yard, and then stomped away.
Renzo waited until the front door slammed, and then he hid a burst of laughter behind his palm as he walked down off the porch steps. “So, in case you were wondering if Matty was excited to have you…”
Emil’s cheeks were flushed—maybe from the cold, but his expression told a different story. “I don’t know that anyone has ever wanted my company that much. Even if I did bring gifts.”
Renzo’s stomach swooped, and not entirely in a good way. His ex tried to win Matty that way too. But he quickly reminded himself that Emil didn’t have any of those old red flags John did. “I hope you didn’t go all out.”
“I didn’t,” Emil said as he fished two duffle bags from his back seat. “And I kind of feel like shit about that because I could totally afford to, but I had no idea what to get.” When he turned, Renzo realized he was wearing a plain white T-shirt under his coat, and it had rucked up, showing off his abs. His fingers went all hot and tingly, suddenly desperate to touch all that exposed skin and see how warm it was.
Emil followed his gaze, and his shy smile turned into a slight smirk. “Are you happy to see me too?”
“Don’t let it go to your head,” Renzo told him. He stepped up and grabbed one of the bags off Emil’s shoulder. “But yes. I am.”
“Can I kiss you?” Emil murmured.
Renzo wanted to say yes. Desperately. But while he knew that Matty definitely approved of him dating Emil, he wasn’t ready to be that open. “Can it wait? I haven’t told Matty the details yet, and I don’t…” He stopped on a sigh, then shrugged. “If it doesn’t work out, he’ll take it hard, and I want to make sure the two of us are sure.”
“You know that neither of us can promise forever,” Emil told him.
Renzo nodded. “Yeah, no. I know that. But…”
“I’m sorry,” Emil interrupted. “I’m being kind of a shit. I know what you’re trying to say, but I’m feeling a little insecure now that I know you’ve talked to Victor and Oliver.”
Renzo bit his lower lip a little too hard, then let it go. It felt puffy and fat. “Do you think they tried to convince me not to see you?”
“No,” Emil said. He shifted his bag on his shoulder and then hugged his middle like he was either afraid or cold. Or maybe both. “Victor’s too kind for that.” Emil swallowed heavily, and then his eyes cut across the lawn and settled on the house where they first met. “They didn’t know before. Um. About my mom.”
Renzo blinked in surprise. “Your best friends didn’t, but you told me the first night we met?”
“You caught me at a vulnerable moment,” Emil confessed. The fact that he wasn’t special should have hurt, but Renzo understood it, and that softened the sting. “I don’t really know how to explain it, you know?”
Renzo didn’t. He doubted he ever could. But he’d do his best to try. “Why don’t we go in? It’s freezing.”
Emil snorted a laugh. “Yeah. Not even sure where my balls are right now.”
