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Renzo looked immediately embarrassed, taking a shaking breath. “Sorry. Just…for a while, I felt like I’d lost myself, you know? He said it so many times that I started to believe it.”
Emil’s brows furrowed. “Said what?”
“That I was stupid. Worthless. Lucky to have him because who’d want to deal with all this,” Renzo all but whispered.
Emil felt that familiar impulse again—the one that said if he gave in, he wouldn’t see the sun outside of a prison courtyard for years, no matter what kind of lawyer he had. He rubbed a gentle circle against Renzo’s palm. “I will tell you every single day how amazing you are if you need me to.”
Renzo let out a small laugh, this one far less bitter than the last. He reached for Emil, curling fingers around the back of his neck, and kissed him. “It was important for me to learn how to be worth something on my own. Knowing you feel the same way is a bonus.”
Emil looked into Renzo’s eyes. “I’m having big feelings, and I want to say the words. But I don’t want to scare you off.”
“God, I want you,” Renzo murmured. Swallowing heavily, he glanced over at the chair, then reached forward and snatched his phone off the table. It was twenty minutes to midnight. “Matty’s alarm is going to wake him up in fifteen minutes. Do you think we could finish by then?”
Emil’s breath stuttered in his chest, but he pulled Renzo close and spoke right against his ear. “I want to take my time with you soon. But yes. I’m so turned on by you and so fucking happy you’re here, I’ll be done in five.”
Renzo laughed and turned his head, kissing Emil deeply. His tongue tasted sweet, burning hot as it danced against Emil’s. “Come on,” he whispered. “Be a good boy for me and keep quiet, okay?”
Emil shuddered, those words sparking under his skin. He was grateful Matty was unconscious because there was no way to hide how hard he was behind the zipper of his slacks. Renzo stood up first, then their fingers tangled together, and his lover pulled Emil past the threshold of the bedroom door.
It shut with a click that sounded like a promise of so much more to come. The feeling was overwhelming to the point Emil felt like maybe he wanted to cry a little. Renzo hadn’t rejected the words unspoken, and the silence had seemed to whisper them back.
Emil was in love. He was falling so hard and so fast there would be little left when he hit the ground.
“I need you,” he murmured as he watched Renzo back up toward the bed, his fingers in the hem of his sweater. His skin was burning with the desire to touch, but he waited, and God, it was worth it. Every inch of skin exposed tormented him just a little more. His dick pulsed in his boxer briefs, and he palmed himself as Renzo stripped down until he was wearing nothing.
Emil reached behind him blindly, feeling for the lock and turning it with a soft click. Renzo’s eyes darkened at the sound, and he licked his lips as Emil began to stalk forward. His fingers moved over his buttons, popping them one by one, and by the time his torso was bare, he was in front of Renzo.
“Let me,” Renzo murmured. “I know we don’t have forever, but I want to undress you.”
Emil captured his gaze. “We do have forever. If we want it.”
Renzo’s fingers began to tremble, but he managed a nod just as he got the button through the hole and the zipper down. Emil let out a sigh of relief when his cock sprang forward through the slit in his briefs, and he bit back a sharp moan when Renzo palmed him, giving him short, loose strokes.
“More,” he begged.
“There’s going to be so much more. But tonight, you’re going to sit on the bed with your hands at your sides and be still, okay?”
Emil nodded, holding in his groan as Renzo’s powerful, perfect hands guided him around, then down to the edge of the bed. The mattress was just on the edge of too soft, and he sank a few inches into the memory foam, but he was steady as he watched Renzo stare down at him.
He was exposed, raw, needy. He was terrified because a single sentence—hell, a single word—could send his world crashing down around him. But Renzo didn’t look like he wanted to toy with the power he had over Emil.
“Touch me,” Emil whispered.
Renzo cupped his cheek and grazed a touch over his lips with the edge of his thumb. “I’m going to. I won’t make you beg tonight.” Then he dropped to his knees, and Emil went dizzy as he lost all the air in his lungs.
He had just enough time to bite the inside of his cheek to muffle any noises before Renzo’s mouth was open. He guided the head of Emil’s dick to his lips, then suckled at his slit before swirling his tongue around, urging his foreskin down with careful, gentle strokes.
Emil held his breath as Renzo locked eyes with him, and unable to look away, he watched as his lover sank all the way down. He felt Renzo’s throat spasm, felt his tongue pulsing along his shaft. His cock twitched again, releasing a flood of precome, and Renzo swallowed it down with a happy little sigh.
Emil wanted to grab his hair and fuck his face, but more than that, he wanted to be good. He wanted to be obedient. He wanted to be worthy of Renzo on his knees like this—and not just for now, but for the rest of his life.
His arms felt weak, and he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to hold himself up if Renzo took any longer, but Renzo apparently had been serious. He wasn’t going to make Emil beg. He had no intentions of tormenting him.
He pulled back, then gripped the base of Emil’s dick and began to suck him in earnest. It was hot—the pull of his mouth and the stroking of his fist, and Emil’s balls began to tighten. He let out the smallest whimper, then shifted his hips.
“Gonna—”
“Mm,” Renzo hummed, sucking harder, stroking faster.
