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Chapter 16
Aria
After a tormented sleep where I dream of drinking hot cocoa clogged with marshmallows with my first-grade teacher and lamenting to her about my love life, or lack thereof, I get up and go into work, my eyes bloodshot.
It’s odd, but something I didn’t tell Theo last night was that the pervasive feeling I had when Rob and I broke up wasrelief.
Relief that it was over.
What kind of a person am I? This is probably why I dreamt of having a therapy session with Ms. Coombs. Life made so much more sense in first grade, didn’t it?
And now that Rob’s engaged? Maybe I’m jealous of his bravery . . . of his ability to jump wholeheartedly into something when he and I couldn’t even manage to live in the same state for the majority of our relationship.
To top things off, I blabbed my issues to Theo on the balcony. My stomach plunges to my knees when I think of him hearing me cry through the wall. So embarrassing.
As soon as I arrive at the bakeshop in the cold of morning—don’t let the brilliant sunshine fool you, it’s freezing outside—Camilla grasps me by the shoulders.
“You look—” She shakes her head, her blond corkscrew curls bouncing from side to side. “What happened?” Her eyes are wide, and her gaze is whipping through me, assessing everything about me.
I take a minute to plop my wallet and keys in their spot on the shelf below the register. “Rob’s engaged.”
Camilla’s still, silent for several seconds, the only movement coming from her rapidly blinking eyes. Then she steps forward and crushes me in a hug.
“That happened fast.” She’s shorter than me by a whole head, so her voice is buried in my dress. Yes, I’m wearing a dress to work, which was probably Camilla’s first clue that something was off. It’s not a nice dress. It’s simply long, loose, and comfortable, and it has pockets. It’s wash and wear, warm, and periwinkle, one of my best colors.
I pull away from her hug. “I’m fine. Truly.”
She grimaces. “Was he cheating on you?”
“No. His fiancée had been living in Europe for years. They only met when she moved in with her brother, Rob’s friend.”
She tugs on my hand and drags me to one of the café-style tables we have in the front. Placing her hands on my shoulders, she forces me to sit and then takes the chair opposite of me. I notice she’s put up her signature forest green and burgundy Christmas decorations all around the room.
“Well, I know this is a good thing,” Camilla says. “But are you okay?”
I lick my lips and nod. It’s actually sort of nice to be here in the bakeshop this morning—with the familiar black and white floor tiles and white cedar tables and chairs. It feels like home.
The thought of moving on, of finding a new job in brand management, fills me with dread.
“Yes. But do you remember how I felt relieved when we broke up?” I reach out to play with the silver ribbon on Camilla’s holiday table centerpieces. “Right now, there’s some weird guilt-sadness kind of a thing going on because I should probably be a lot more wrecked about this than I am. Rob and I were together for four years. We shouldn’t have lasted that long, but we did. He’s been with this woman for, like, two months.” I knead my forehead with my fingers. “And it’s not like I want him back or anything like that. I’m truly happy for him. I just wonder what all this says about me.”
Camilla eyes me carefully. “Rob wasn’t right for you. That’s all.” She claps her hands together once, her brows knitting together. “So, should we cyberstalk his new fiancée?”
“Ha! I already did. She seems like a lovely person.” I stand from the table and jam my hands in my pockets. “I’ll come help you in the kitchen, and we can talk while we work. You have a lot to do before the festival.”
Once we’re in the kitchen with our aprons on and ingredients out, Camilla pipes up. “The bright side is, at least you didn’t marry Rob.” She shivers. “We can all be thankful it never came to that. And I think instead of condemning yourself for not ending it a long time ago, give yourself some grace, Aria. There’s a good reason for the things we do, right? I’m sure it was a form of protection.” She waves me away. “I don’t know. But the bottom-line is, today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
I give her a warm smile. “That’s so cliché, Camilla,” I say.
“It is, but it’s true! We need to celebrate.”
“I’d settle for a quick meal with you.”
“Tonight?” Camilla’s smile beams.
“I wish, but I have the committee meeting. And we’ve already been warned this one will be long.”
“Fine. But tomorrow night? Or this weekend? You’re all mine.” Camilla wiggles her fingers like she’s a monster ready to attack. I can’t help but laugh.
