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“Well, that and the blazer,” I add with a smile.
“Of course. It’s the most powerful of all power suits.”
I drop my head back in a laugh. “And Aria? This might sound strange, but it’s what I’m feeling, so I’m just going to say it.” I claw at the stubble on my chin, too short to be called a beard. But right now, it’s giving me courage I don’t normally have. “Hearing about why the festival is important to you makes me want to do everything in my power to make sure it happens,” I say. “Like I want to fight like a dragon for it.”
“Thank you, Theo. Sometimes I feel optimistic about it. Other times not so much. But knowing you care? That means a lot.”
I decide to go for it. I have nothing to lose. “My dad left on Christmas Eve. He made an effort to be there while we opened presents, and then he told us he was moving out. And he did.”
Aria’s quiet for several seconds, her eyes soft. “Oh, that’s horrible.” Her voice is raw. “I’m sorry, Theo.”
I nod. “I feel bad my mom had to go through that. I was five, and I didn’t understand fully what was going on. But of course she did. And Jesse was eight. He had a hard time.”
“No wonder this time of year is difficult. It brings back so many haunting things.”
“Yeah. And I know that’s not what the holiday is all about. But it is a reminder of the bad stuff.”
We’re quiet and I try to block out images and scents and sounds from my memory.
She stands and joins me on my sofa, sitting close enough to reach out and place a hand over mine. I feel its soft warmth. “If there’s ever anything I can do to help, please tell me. If there’s something triggering, I can take care of it for you.”
“I appreciate that.” I need to change the subject. “And what about you? I’ve never had an ex get engaged around the holidays.”
She giggles. “I thought you didn’t date one person long enough to have exes. Have you ever even been dumped before?”
She removes her hand from mine, and I’m disappointed.
“I’ve been dissed. Does that count? I’ve been forgotten about. But dumped? Dumped would necessitate a relationship to speak of. And I’ve never had that.” Shame wells up in me. I’m nearing my late twenties. Shouldn’t I have had a relationship or two by now?
“Well, that’s good. I’m glad you’ve never been dumped.”
But there’s something in her expression, a hesitation. She even pulls back and away from me.
“Look,” I say. “It’s good I’ve never been dumped, but I don’t like that I’ve never dated anyone seriously,” I tell her. “It says a lot that you can commit to one person for years. I admire that.”
“Well, maybe it would have been better if I hadn’t. I knew I didn’t feel for him the way I should have. But it was easy and safe.” She squeezes her lips tightly together.
I want her to go on, to tell me more. But I don’t know if she will—if she feels comfortable opening up. Still, I can’t help myself.
“And easy and safe was appealing to you? Why?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t know.” It’s a dismissal. She doesn’t want to talk about this anymore, and I have to respect that.
“Want to play cards?” I ask.
“You have work to do.” She moves to get up.
I reach out a hand. “But it’s you . . .” I stop myself, even though it’s true. I’ll work all night long if that means I get to spend more time with her now.
“Okay. Only if I choose the game.” A slight smile skates across her face.
I grin back and reach over to the drawer in the side table. I open it and pull out a pack of playing cards.
“These cards are handy in a pinch.” I slide the deck out of the box.
“And right now is a pinch?”
“Right now, it’s a necessity.” I shuffle, enjoying the feel of the cards on my thumbs. I can’t resist doing a couple of tricks with the deck. I learned a thing or two with cards in college. I know it’s showing off a little. “What are we playing?”
