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She gestured to the gardens behind me. “I have seen you running almost every day, as though you are trying to escape something. And the fact it has brought you here tells me it has caught you.”
Caught me. Yes it had. “I’ve been having rather wild dreams.” I stretched my hands, the roiling warmth in my chest clutching at the base of my throat.
“That is usually how it starts.” She gave me a knowing smile, tucking a strand of white hair behind her ear. She took a deep breath of the cool, wet air that surrounded us. “Now, what is it you would like to know?”
“A Ladaian love bond,” I said quickly, before I thought better of it. “Do you, I mean, can you tell me anything about it?”
“But of course, I am the High Priestess of this Temple.” She laughed when I bowed my head. “Oh we do not require such formality here, my child. What would you like to know?”
Thunder rumbled loudly overhead, the rain pelting down in heavy sheets. I took a deep breath.
“How does it form?” I asked, running a hand over my chest without thinking. “I mean, why does it happen?”
The priestess shrugged. “That I cannot answer. Lada’s ways are not to be explained.”
“But itisa love bond?”
“Certainly. Two souls, bound for all eternity, separated only by death.”
I gave a short laugh. “Yes, I know the stories. Is there any other way… Can it be forced, by magic?”
The priestess shook her head emphatically. “No. A true Ladaian Bond is one of the few forces of this Realm that not even the Seraph have been able to corrupt. There are love spells that can mimic aspects of the Bond, but a true Bond, where both parties feel the other’s heart and breath in their body - that cannot be made by magic.”
The combination of relief and irritation I felt at that moment almost knocked me off my feet. So this was real. It wasn’t evil Fae magic. It wasreal. I was bonded to a Fae princess who I wanted to protect with my life. Shewasmine. Fucking gods.
“And is it normal to want to… Do… Things?” Gods I was blushing. I was asking an ancient priestess if it was normal to want to fuck someone I was bonded to and it was the most awkward thing I’d ever experienced in my life. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. “I mean… you know…”
“You mean sex?” The priestess laughed lightly. “Is that what you are asking? If it is normal to want a physical as well as a spiritual connection with your Bonded.”
“NotmyBonded.” I almost stumbled over the words, bouncing nervously on the balls of my feet. “I’m just asking, in general terms.”
“Of course you are.” The priestess nodded, and if she doubted me she didn’t show it. “All acts of love are sacred in the eyes of the Goddess. So yes, it is perfectly normal to want to have those experiences with your Bonded, if that is what you both desire.”
“And I can’t break it?”
She cocked an eyebrow. “You?”
Fuck. “Not me, obviously. I mean, I’m asking if it can’t be broken, in general.”
“Would you want it to be?”
No. The last thing I wanted was for it to be gone. Where that heat holding my heart had driven me mad at first, the thought of it being gone now was too much to bear. She had anchored herself within my soul, within my very being, and to tear that out of my ribcage now - the thought made me shudder.
“I can’t imagine anyone would want it to go away,” the priestess said when I remained silent. “It is nothing to fear. Even if the reason is not clear at first, even if the choice is unexpected, there is joy to be found in a Bond with another.”
“Joy. Yes.”
She took a step closer to me, her eyes darting around for a moment, as though to check we were truly alone. “Fighting it does not make it any easier.”
I didn’t want to tell her that giving in to it would make my life vastly more difficult. I didn’t even know if giving in to it was a choice I had to make. But that was all too difficult - and too dangerous - to explain to a priestess in a temple in Veles. Instead, I gave her a nod and a brief smile. “Thank you for your help.”
“Any time, my child.” She waved as I left, back into the pouring rain.
I didn’t run back to my chamber. Instead, I walked slowly across the sodden grass. I dug my toes into the ground, and took deep breaths. And all the while that warmth crept through my veins, heating my blood as my heart beat in rhythm with hers.
Thunder crashed overhead as I drew myself a bath. I lowered myself into the warm water, washing away the mud and cold sweat. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the edge of the tub.Fighting it does not make it any easier.
I didn’t want to fight it. I wanted nothing more than to give in to everything I felt, to climb that tower again and climb into Elara’s bed. I wanted to crush those rosy lips under mine, hear her sigh as my hands moved over her body, over the body that was now mine.
