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“You don’t need to apologize. I don’t want you to think… I don’t want to give you the impression that I…” I broke off, looking back down at the scattered pieces on the chessboard. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Your Mate - I mean, your- The one who-“
“Keir," she interjected, eyeing me curiously. “What about him?”
“How did you know?” I gestured to her with my hand. “I mean, that he was… yours?”
“You want to know about Keir?” She asked a little incredulously, exhaling heavily as she looked out the window at the unrelenting rain. “I mean… I just knew. We looked at each other one day, and it was just… there. There was no explaining it.”
“But you and he… You never…” I coughed, laughing awkwardly. “Sorry, this is definitely none of my business.”
Elara covered her mouth as she laughed, her cheeks flushing the sweetest shade of pink. “It’s alright. I mean, Ididtell you. There were moments where I thought we would, but…” She shrugged. “I loved him, but it was… different. I wanted to be close to him, and … But… It was different. To anything I’ve ever felt before.”
I met her eyes, and I knew she felt it too. I put a hand to my chest, and her eyes dropped to it for only a moment before rising back to meet mine. “Different?” I asked slowly.
She nodded. “I can’t explain it.”
“Did you ever dream of him?”Like you dream of me. I didn’t have to say the words, I could see from the flicker of her jaw that she knew what I meant.
She shook her head slowly, reaching out to move her King forward one square. “No. That’s only ever happened… with you.”
“Every night.” I reached out and put my fingers around my Queen, holding Elara’s gaze. I didn’t have to say anything else. She understood completely.
“Every night.” She repeated, before nodding. “Yes. I never knew I could feel this way.”
I wanted to say something cruel then, shaming her dead Bonded for the danger he’d put her in. Shaming him for not laying down his life to protect her, for dragging her onto the battlefield with him for some stupid, childish vow. Of course she’d never felt anything like this, because no one had ever cared for her like I did.
But I bit the words back. I didn’t want to hurt her. Not now. Not when those blue eyes were fixed on me with softness and the barest hint of desire, open and honest and piercing me to my very core.
I looked down at her hand, still on her King, and smiled. “The King is my favorite piece.”
She let out a laugh mixed with a scoff, and tossed her braid over her shoulder. “Of course it is.”
“Not for the reason you think,” I replied.
She cocked an eyebrow. “Is that so?”
“It’s the most self-aware piece on the board.”
“Self-aware?”
I looked into her eyes, feeling her heartbeat in my very own chest. “He knows he’s nothing without his Queen.”
Elara sucked in a small, shaky breath. I let the Queen go, moving my hand across the board to brush my fingers against hers. Her eyes were locked on mine, her lip trembling ever so slightly, and fucking gods I wanted to kiss her. Why hadn’t I kissed her the night before? Why hadn’t I seized her in my arms and let her claim me completely?
“Rook.” Her little finger wrapped around mine.
“Yes?”
“I’m afraid I’m very selfish when it comes to you.”
“What do you mean, princess?”
“Because even though you said, last night. You said that it…” She cleared her throat, her gaze determined. “It wouldn’t have been meaningless.”
Gods, I was a fool. Of course it wouldn’t have been. Nothing about sinking into her body and joining myself with her would have been meaningless. It would have beeneverything.
