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I have witnessed her dedication, the countless hours of training, and the sacrifices she has made to reach this point. She deserves every opportunity to succeed, unhindered by the complexities of me. I come with a lot of baggage.
It is a painful realization, but I know that stepping away is the right thing to do.
It is far from easy.
But the thing that’s most important to me right now is prioritizing her dreams over my own desires.
I want to see her thrive, to witness her reaching new heights in her career, even if it means sacrificing us to find it.
There are moments when doubt and insecurity creep in.
Will she understand my decision?
Will she resent me for stepping away?
But deep down, I know that this is the best course of action, for both her and me.
And I think she’ll agree.
I choose to support her from afar, and to cheer her on as she competes on the grandest stages, to be her number one fan in the stands. I will celebrate her victories and console her in defeat, even if I can’t be by her side as more than a friend.
As I witness the intensity of the matches and the pursuit of excellence, it reinforces my belief that she deserves undivided focus and unwavering support.
I need to be that support, not a distraction.
If I’m not messing with her mind, the Vio I saw in Qatar will thrive.
Allowing her to soar to new heights without the weight of a complicated relationship is something she needs.
“Are you the reason for that performance?” Sofia creeps up out of nowhere, joining me and waiting for Vio.
I tell her the truth. “I think so.”
She’s shocked for a second. “At least you’re admitting it now.”
“Don’t worry. It’ll be solved soon.”
“You’re breaking up with your girlfriend?”
“No.”
“Then it’s never going to be solved.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re probably thinking stepping away from her will be the best thing for the two of you. But the thing that’s bothering her the most is that you haven’t picked her. I know Vio like the back of my hand. I’m her coach. Mental strength is included in that. I know by the impact of her first serve if she’s going to win or not. That means that I knew when you and her started getting feelings for each other apart from observation. You can tell her all you want that you need to step away for her sake. But the fact that you are leaving and not choosing her will break her even more.”
Fuck, she may be right.
But then I don’t want her to have to need my validation in that. She deserves to love herself apart from the people she loves. All her life, she’s only ever been rejected and that has spread to her ability to let go.
She let go with me yesterday.
It’s a complex mindfuck.
“I just don’t know what to do. I’m also struggling with breaking up with Marrisa.”
“Your feelings are valid, but they affect the people around you, especially those who love you the most. If you tell her you should just be friends after what happened last night—”
