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I can hear Marrisa walking around, trying to find her phone. “It’s so boring down there without you. It’s so fucked up that my dad is obligating me to go to an event when my boyfriend just crashed his Formula One car!” Marrisa is frustrated.

“I know, but it’s only for a night.” Xavier is consoling her.

“Where is my phone!” She’s frustrated and I don’t think this is just about her phone. I’m standing under all of her and Xavier’s clothes hanging in the shared closet.

They feel so domestic.

Crap, I’m a homewrecker.

My thoughts are interrupted by Marrisa opening the door to the closet slightly.

“Wait!” Xavier calls out. Marrisa doesn’t even see me as she looks at Xavier. All she has to do is open the door a little more and she’ll see me.

Then we’re in major trouble.

“I think I saw it in your makeup drawer.”

I hope to God it’s in her makeup drawer. Marrisa closes the closet abruptly before she walks into the bathroom from what I can assume.

A few seconds later, she shrieks in glee. “You’re so insightful!”

I roll my eyes.

“It’s my job as your boyfriend.”

That’s what hits me hard. This whole situation is ruining me, and I have to make a decision for myself this time.

“I’ll see you later,” Marrisa tells him before I hear a kissing sound.

Next thing I know, the door closes and Xavier lets out a huge sigh of relief. “You can come out now, Blondie.”

I open the door and step out. My face says everything. “I know you’re hurt, and I want to be there for you. But I can’t be there for you when you haven’t gone out of your way to break up with her.” My tone isn’t angry or frustrated, it’s sad.

“Vio, I promise that one day I’m going to break up with her.”

“You say that every single time, Xavier. I’m done with your excuses; I gave you until Roland-Garros and here you are still in a relationship with her.” Now I’m upset.

“It’s harder than you think!”

“My whole life, I’ve always been the person no one wants. That one girl who is in love with someone she couldn’t have. I don’t want that anymore. I want someone who wants me because I am the only option. So don’t make me an option, Xavier. I refuse to be the second choice any longer!”

He scoffs. “You never were another option, Vio, you are the only option. I can’t stop thinking about you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you for three years!” He sighs and continues as I just stand there breathless “Fuck obligation. I only want you and she knows that. I may not have told Marrisa that yet, but if she can’t see that, then she’s oblivious. I only want you. Quite frankly, I’ve realized that all I’ve ever wanted is you.”

“If you want me so much, then break up with her. In the past few months of being with you, I’ve found so much love for myself and it’s helping me right now telling you this. I don’t need a man to determine my worth anymore. I hear the words come out of your mouth but see no action to make them a reality. Remember when I told you that I would give you an ultimatum eventually?”

“No, Blondie!” He’s trying to stop me, but I’ve made up my mind.

“Today is that day. Grow up, face the noise, or this is over for the time being.” I’m out of breath. Xavier tries to reach out to me, but I step back and stop him with a wave of my finger.“Remember it isn’t me in a relationship. I don’t care if you don’t love her. If you don’t make up your mind, then this will never happen.”

I don’t give him time to talk. I open and close the door behind me.

As I stumble out of the hotel room, the world around me becomes a chaotic blur. My vision is clouded by tears, and each step feels like a monumental effort.

The weight of my decision hangs heavily on my shoulders, and the air feels suffocating as if it’s constricting my every breath.

I lean against the hallway wall, my legs shaking uncontrollably.

My chest tightens, and my heart continues to race, a relentless drumbeat echoing in my ears.

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