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“Where do you want to sit?” she asks me.
“Wherever you want.” I almost tell her somewhere private, but that would be too obvious. She smiles, liking my decision on letting her choose. Her brown hair is perfectly styled, draping over her shoulder and on her back. Her pink dress matches the same color as her lips. When I first saw her, I thought she was gorgeous. Beauty doesn’t just wash away; I still see her as attractive, but I don’t feel anything toward her.
The first time I realized that I didn’t feel anything physically or emotionally toward her anymore because of Vio, I tried to look at another woman.
I know it’s fucked up but even so, it taught me something.
I only have eyes for Vio. She’s the only person I could possibly want because no other woman’s intellect turns me on more than Vio’s.
I never meant for it to happen, but love is an unpredictable force, and it’s led me astray.
Marrisa’s smile warms my worries for a brief moment.
I’ve been with this woman for two years. That has to mean something. But it doesn’t anymore and that’s the scariest thing out of this whole situation.
One moment, I was fine being in a relationship with her, but now I want something different all of a sudden.
I want Vio and the only way I’ll have her is if I break this off.
It’s been a whole month since I’ve seen her, touched her, and heard her beautiful fucking voice. A piece of me is missing and I’m stronger now.
Going to Brazil was the best thing I could’ve done. I’ve closed off so many parts of my life so I can live a new one.
This was bound to happen.
Marrisa’s and my relationship may have been a long one, but never once have I felt about her the way I feel about Violetta.
There’s no understanding or passion. I’m not choosing Vio out of passing fervor. I’m choosing her because I’ve never loved someone more.
She’s my best friend and I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
The opulent décor exudes sophistication, with plush velvet chairs and glistening chandeliers overhead.
Walking hand in hand with my soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, we navigate the dimly lit room, our footsteps blending with the soft melody playing in the background. Her fingers interlocked with mine, radiating warmth and trust, and I am overwhelmed by the affection she still holds for me.
Guilt gnaws at my conscience, a constant reminder of the unfaithfulness that I’ve implicated in this relationship.
Could I have navigated these feelings with Vio differently?
Yes.
All the words Vio told me about me needing to grow up are true. I may be a man on the outside, but for the longest time, I was that hurt little boy emotionally.
I did things I’m not proud of. I should have broken up with Marrisa the second I felt that obsession with Violetta was there.
But I didn’t and I can’t go back in time to change it.
Actions have consequences and this is my repercussion.
I think I wanted to change the things I’d done before I broke up with Marrisa. That’s why I stalled it for so long. I made up these excuses not to hurt her, but hurting people is inevitable.
As we approach our designated table, adorned with exquisite floral arrangements and shimmering candles, a lump forms in my throat.
The strains of the piano weave through the air, intertwining with hushed conversations. I steal glances at my girlfriend, taking in her radiant smile, blissfully unaware of the storm that is about to ensue.
Her eyes shimmer with anticipation, unaware of the confession that lingers on the edge of my lips.
How can I shatter her world in a place that should be a sanctuary for love?
