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Of course he looks amazing in anything he puts on.
His shirt fits his physique in just the right way so that the very cheesy Tommy Bahama flower button-up shirt is drool-worthy. The shirt matches his white pants, which accentuate his butt in a way I wish I didn’t see because my gaze did not veer in that direction intentionally at first until I saw the glutes on this man.
His tan just gets deeper every day he’s here. I know he would thank his Brazilian genetics for that gift because the man most likely has never had a sunburn in his life. I don’t understand how he can be a model by just existing on Earth. There is only one man in my life I have ever been this attracted to, and that ended badly. My fear of rejection overtakes my newfound feelings for Xavier, and it snaps me out of my thoughts.
He has a girlfriend, Vio. Stop ogling him.
Out of some kind of miracle, we got a table at the most popular club in Mexico. Xavier is to thank for that. All he did was flash his killer smile. It made the lady at the front desk literally fawn at the sight of him, and she gave us one of the best tables in the place that was reserved for someone else. Whoever those people are, I would like to apologize to them because it is not easy finding a table at Baby’O on a Saturday in December.
When I agreed to come, I was hoping they didn’t have any spots available, and I was wrong, which means I have to stay here. The sight of Cleo already taking Xavier by the hand to the dance floor makes me smile and roll my eyes simultaneously. I have conflicted emotions all the time. The eye roll is because I know he’s going to have fun with Cleo, meaning I will not be going home to a fluffy and comfortable bed for at least another hour. The smile is because I know he’s going to love Cleo’s sober dancing skills. She doesn’t drink anymore after kissing two waiters at a club when she visited a friend in Puebla. She vowed to never drink again, and she’s held strong to it.
Even if Cleo doesn’t drink, she has the night of her life and that’s what I love the most about her. She lives, and even if she falls into self-destructive habits, she gets back up and fights. To me, she’s the strongest person I know. Her addictive tendencies don’t define her and they never will.
All of us are more than our struggles and we shouldn’t be defined because of them.
Chanel, on the other hand, can’t let go without drinking. In Mexico, the common drink is Bacardi or Tequila, and she hates them both. Since our father lets the twins do whatever they want, she spends his money, rightfully so. Ordering a Cosmo and three of them at that. That’s all she needs to get buzzed, and then you witness a completely different Chanel.
I’ve personally never liked alcohol, so I’ve never drunk too much of it. I’ll have a fruit cocktail occasionally at restaurants or even a rosé, but I don’t make it a habit. It’s a weird anomaly being a tennis player, nondrinker, and anti-dancer all in one. The tennis scene is filled with massive parties and players who love to do everything under the sun after a good day of tennis. I’ve never been drawn to those environments, so I usually just stay in my hotel, watching a good show.
Not depriving myself completely, though, Ale occasionally drags me to nights out in the city. She loves going out (not so much anymore due to a certain male), so I don’t hate the environment. But I don’t necessarily love it.
Looking around me, I see the iconic rock formation seating areas that all form a circle around the main dance floor. Big screens are hung above, playing music videos from the eighties and occasionally a Bad Bunny song.
The people around me are having fun and dancing together while a big smile spreads across their faces. Luis Miguel’s “Cómo es posible a mi lado” is playing with a younger Luis Miguel with blond highlights and very nineties patterns moving behind him on the flat screen. It’s a classic, and I can’t help but sing along to the lyrics. My head bops back and forth. I see Cleo pointing at me as she mouths the lyrics in my direction. I decide to go along with her, so I mouth back. A smile spreads across my face as she turns around, enjoyingEl sol de Méxicosinging through speakers.
When Xavier was introduced to Luis Miguel a few days ago, my sisters being the blabbermouths they are, happened to leave out that Luis Miguel is my favorite artist of all time. On top of winning a grand slam, my second biggest dream is attending one of his concerts front row. Since everyone in Mexico is obsessed with the king himself, getting tickets to any of his shows is almost impossible. I haven’t been able to get my hands on tickets and the amount of times I’ve tried is astonishing.
Every time I hear one of his songs, I want to scream it at the top of my lungs. The feeling he gives me and how his music was with me when I needed it most will always stay with me. He never fails to impress if it’s an upbeat song or a slower classic. Plus, when he was younger, he happened to be my ideal type. The man knows he’s attractive, and that smile will never fail to make me fall apart. Every Mexican has grown up with his songs, and that’s why he is a part of the legacy of the country’s music.
He sat where I’m sitting. He’s been here. I am breathing the same air he did, and I can’t help but get a rush when I’m in Baby’O while knowing that this place is iconic because of him.
“Después de la Playa” by Bad Bunny starts playing. Cleo immediately lights up; he’s her favorite artist. The funky beat starts playing at a low volume, and the cool thing about the song is it goes from Urban Latin to a mix of the mambo and merengue.It’s a fun song, and Cleo starts to move her hips. Xavier tries to dance along, and he definitely has a sense of movement. His hands reach out with his palm facing up, signaling that he wants to twirl her. They move across the dance floor to the Latin beat. Smiles spread on their faces.
At that moment, I realize I’ve been an asshole. I don’t like cursing, but it’s the only word to describe my behavior (I also said it in my head, so it doesn’t count.) I’ve been bringing down the vibe with my bad attitude.
I loosen up and uncross my arms, then walk over to Chanel, who’s downing her Cosmos in record time. I watch the pink liquid slide out of the glass, not leaving a single drop. Chanel’s face is blank as she waits for the alcohol to take effect.
“Parecen felices.” I try to stir up conversation with her, even though we have seen each other almost every day. Chanel can definitely hold a conversation, but she has always been the more reserved twin.
I have been focusing on Cleo a lot in the past few days and I want her to know that I’m also here for her. Even though she is this powerful, put-together woman, everyone has problems and complexities. Every day I’ve seen her grow up has been a privilege, and I’m proud to be her sister. I need her to know that here and that I’ll always be here.
She looks in their direction as our conversation continues in Spanish. “Cleo needed this, and I think Xavier did too.” Her head moves in a small nod as she acknowledges them.
“Yea, I feel like an idiot for holding them back from coming.” An emotion in my chest takes over my stomach in something that feels like I disappointed the people I love the most.
“You not wanting to come is just as valid as them wanting to be here.” A red strobe light hits her face.
“I guess. I hope they have a good time.” The ache in my calves becomes more prominent every second as exhaustion hits me. My mind immediately pushes the feeling away. How can I feel this way when they are having so much fun?
“They are. But don’t push away the thought that Xavier refused to come if you didn’t. I think someone has taken a liking to a certain woman.” Her face doesn’t give away any emotion.
“He has a girlfriend!” I say quickly, completely negating the fact that he likes me.
“So? I’m not saying cheating is something he would do, but you can be drawn to a person even if you’re in love with someone else.”
A pang fills my chest at Chanel’s comment. It’s jealousy. I know exactly what it feels like because I’ve felt it more than a handful of times with León. I can’t possibly feel territorial over Xavier when he isn’t mine.
I sigh in response.
