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I don’t know what happened or what’s even running through his brain. But I can already feel us distancing and I don’t like it.
My eyeliner pokes my eye because of my lack of attention. I’ve been like this for days now. Yelping out at the contact from the pointy stick touching my sensitive eyeball, I check immediately for a black dot. Opening my eye with two fingers, I evaluate the damage with my other eye. There is none. I sigh out in relief that nothing was messed up in the process.
It’s New Year’s Eve. The start of a new era and what most people call a new cycle of their lives. I don’t feel like I want a new cycle because for the last few days, the one I was used to has completely ignored me.
It started on our ride home from Arraial do Cabo. I asked him a few questions. He made them brief and then stayed silent for the full eight hours. But it wasn’t lost on me that he was still his cheeky self with his mother and my sisters.
Not me.
I thought maybe I was taking it too personally. But then I realized I wasn’t. At Christmas dinner the next day, he was the same. I thought maybe he needed some time, but nope. He’s ignored me for the last seven days. I go training and then come back to Xavier’s plans while he thoroughly focuses on my sisters.
Normally, I wouldn’t care, but the fact that he hasn’t even peeped a word in my direction has led me to my last nerve.
I’m going to confront him, much to my distaste.
I want our banter back and it’s been ripped from under me. The last seven days have shown not only my separation issues but how important my friendship with Xavier is to me.
Finishing off my makeup, I check myself out in the mirror. I look different. I resemble Ale. I think I might be going through a mental breakdown.
But it’s fine. I look hot.
After ripping through my own closet, I didn’t find anything to wear. With all the frustration that was building up inside of me, I broke down crying. Cleo walked in at the perfect time, telling me that I could go through her closet.
I found something; Cleo was shocked by my choice. But I stand by it anyway.
I’m wearing a short tight black minidress that is covered in chunky rhinestones. My black eyeliner is buffed out around my eye, one on my water line and the other on my lid, creating a cat eye. I stare at my lips, which are a beige lipstick I borrowed from Chanel. This isn’t me, but tonight I don’t plan on being myself. Hopefully, I can find the courage inside me to cultivate my alter ego and tell Xavier to speak to me.
Spraying perfume all over my body, satisfied with my appearance, I grab the heels at the foot of my bed. They have a small stiletto at the back with a band that wraps around the back of my ankle. They are comfortable enough to wear all night but also fancy enough to match the cocktail dress I have on.
Xavier told Cleo and Chanel to dress fancy, then they relayed that information to me. He also mentioned to them, not me, that we are going to a big event for New Year’s Eve on a terrace.
So I dressed appropriately.
Walking toward the door with my phone in hand, I decide to go down to the kitchen for an anxious snack. My feet take me down the stairs to see Xavier talking with his mom, they don’t notice me at first. But once I take another step, their heads snap up and in my direction.
“Uau. Você está incrível,” Lena says in awe.
I don’t know exactly what she said, but I assume it was a compliment based on the satisfied expression on her face. “Obrigado,” I respond with a smile.
Xavier has a cup of pudding in his hand. When I walked in, he was eating it while actively listening to his mom. Now his mouth is open with a spoon in hand and his brown eyes are wide while staring at me.
His expression is one of shock and I can’t help the satisfied smirk that spreads on my lips. His reaction is everything I wanted. This is what he gets for not speaking to me for a week.
Xavier just sits there, not snapping his attention away from me and no apparent movement runs through his body. His mom notices the silence and nudges him on the shoulder.
He immediately snaps out of his trance. Gulping and clearing his throat, he sets down his now empty pudding cup. I hear him whisper, “Yea, you look nice.” He doesn’t even look at me. “I have to go, ugh, get something,” he says before leaving the room.
I sigh at our lack of eye contact; Xavier is someone who focuses all his attention on the person he’s talking to. He always makes it clear that he cares, but apparently not with me anymore. At least we’ve made progress.
He said a few words directed toward me. That’s something.
Running my hands through my straightened hair, I walk toward the refrigerator. “Not joining us tonight, Lena?” I ask over my shoulder as the white light and cooling air hit me.
“No. No. You kids go have fun; cocktail parties are not my thing anymore.”
I grab out a Tupperware of freshly washed grapes with one hand and then use the other to close the steel door behind me. “Why not? At least I would have someone to talk to. Your son doesn’t seem to be the talkative type as of late.” I grit my teeth as I say the last syllable.
I open the container and pull off the green fruit from the vine. I pop the grape in my mouth before I realize she’s staring at me.
