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My life has been one uncertain change to the next. Never any stability, and now that I know the truth about my past, I think I understand it more. Whatever love I felt when my parents were alive has melted away over the years until it vanished into nothingness.
I can’t ever get that back, not in the way I wish. But with Domino at my side, I feel like I could have something new and all my own. Something we create together.
Sitting up in bed, I grow dizzy, and my stomach feels queasy until I settle my feet on the ground. As I slowly inhale, I breathe through the sensations before standing.
Going about my morning routine of showering and cleaning up before getting dressed in one of the other outfits Domino bought me for my birthday, I intend to sit in the backyard garden and complete my schoolwork for the day. Disregarding my bout of nausea this morning, I grab a latte and muffin from Esme after feeding Capo and getting him fresh water.
“The email from your teachers came this morning. Everything is set up for you. If you need assistance on anything, let me know.” Esme smiles before she continues cleaning up the kitchen.
“Thank you, Esme.” I return her grin and stare at her for a moment. For as long as I’ve known her, she’s always been a motherly figure in my life. Caring and compassionate, but also strict when I need it. She’s what I imagine my own mother would have been like if she were given the chance.
Stepping out the patio door, I immediately sink onto the welcoming settee by the pool. Covered by the shade of the house, for now, I’ll keep cool here until the afternoon. Sipping at my latte and taking small bites of my muffin as I open the laptop, Capo settles in beside me, watching as birds fly around the sky until he spots a squirrel running across the grass to the tree. Other than lifting his head, he doesn’t move to leave my side.
I never dreamed this animal would become so loyal to me from the moment my eyes opened and I saw him lying there with me. I always wanted a companion like him.
Which has me thinking of my parents again. Dreaming of their death, seeing it as an eighteen-year-old woman instead of a four-year-old girl, I mourn them in a way I was never able to previously. Knowing that I called the man who killed them, Daddy, for so many years makes me sick.
They ruined my life. Forced me to become someone I don’t even know half the time. Hatred burns through me the longer I sit and think about it.
“They have to pay,” I mutter, closing the computer in front of me. And I know exactly who to see about it.
The only trouble I’m going to have is the brothers currently occupying the house with me while Domino is gone. I suspect whatever he’s doing, at least one or two of his siblings is with him, but I know he won’t leave me unprotected. Not right now.
I may not know everything that’s going on because they want to keep me in the dark, but I do know that something is happening, and that’s why Domino didn’t come to bed last night.
Standing, I go back inside, placing the laptop on the counter and seeking out which brothers are here. Quickly enough, I find them all in Santo’s office.
“Where’s Domino?” I ask immediately. I already know I’m going to be lied to before Maso speaks.
“He and Pace are running an errand.” The lie falls flawlessly from him.
Shaking my head, I let them know I don’t believe them. “Please, don’t lie to me. Just tell me you can’t say. I need to go to school to get some books from my locker; I’ll be back within the hour.” My own deception comes just as readily as his. “I don’t need a chaperone.”
I take my leave as they argue over who will follow me because I know they won’t allow me to go alone. Grabbing the keys of the compact car Santo lets me use, I do my best to escape before they’ve decided who plays babysitter today.
I’m three blocks away before I see Donato behind the wheel of another car catching up to me. There’s a scowl on his face, and I can’t hide my laughter while Capo leans his head out the window, enjoying the breeze.
The farther I drive away from the Cardarelli home, the more nervous I become. Confronting Vincenzo wasn’t something I ever believed I would get to do. Not after he stood me on the auction block. Not when my memory cold-cocked me with what he did. I thought I would have to let him go. Or at least allow Domino to be the one to take care of him. Yet here I am, about to arrive at his home.
My home.
The house I grew up in, and I feel sick.
Nausea rolls back around as my mind recognizes the street I grew up on. The ostentatious homes lining the road. All the feelings of betrayal when Santo took me away from here. Everything is rushing back in waves that make me so dizzy I have to pull over.
Before the car is even in park, I’m opening the door and vomiting the minuscule contents of my stomach into the perfect green grass.
Closing my eyes, I try to gain my bearings when I hear Donato coming closer. It can only be him because he wouldn’t allow anyone else to get near me.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing out here, Nicola? Domino is going to be furious.” Likely ten times more so than what he’s expressing. I just don’t care right now. Not while my stomach is doing somersaults.
“Domino doesn’t know what it’s like to be betrayed by the man who turns out to be his parents’ murderer,” I bite out as I spit the taste of vomit from my mouth.
Handing me an open bottle of water, Donato doesn’t reply as I rinse my mouth a few times before finally taking a drink and swallowing. Still feeling sick, I lean back in my seat and stare at the house I parked in front of.
“Do you think they know? That their neighbors traffic children. That they’re murderers. Do you think they know?” My gaze shifts to see Donato staring down at me.
“Some. Probably. Others might suspect. Some just don’t pay attention. Nobody would know what to do, though.” I can tell he’s trying to comfort me, but my anger spikes.
