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Instead she almost felt sorry for the way she’d snapped at him.
She felt as if she’d let him down.
She felt as if she’d let herself down and failed some kind of test.
Crazy.
It wasn’t as if she even cared what he thought of her. Her relationship with her mother was her business. He wouldn’t know about the way they’d last parted, the argument that had sent her foaming mad to his door to almost dare him to take her. He wouldn’t know the fractured history that lay festering like the worst of Venice’s rotting piles between them.
But his gut-wrenching admission that he’d adore the opportunity to see his mother if only she were alive...
And regardless of what she thought of Luca, regardless of her justification for acting this way, it shamed her that her relationship with her own mother was so appalling.
Maybe there was just cause given the events of the last few days. But equally maybe, now that the dust had settled on the deal that had been made, perhaps while she was in Venice she should try to heal that rift, even just a little.
She heard her father’s words come back to her, the rationale he’d used when she’d tried to wiggle out of coming to Venice in the first place.
‘She’s still your mum, love...you can’t walk away from that.’
She’s still your mum.
Maybe her dad was right. Maybe Luca was right. Maybe she should make an effort after all.
While she was still in Venice.
While she was lucky enough to still have a mother.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘YOU’RE sleeping with him, then?’
Carmela had her back to Lily as she poured Tina a cup of coffee and threw her a sympathetic smile. Tina smiled back, appreciating the shared moment, regretting just a little that it had to be with the housekeeper rather than her mother, but then again, so far the visit had been surprisingly pleasant, given all the places it could have gone. They’d talked about the weather, and all about the new apartment Lily had visited just this morning. The biggest surprise had been finding the boxes and tissue paper scattered around the floor and learning that Lily was already sorting through her trinkets and thinking about which pieces to keep and which to sell through consignment with a local gallery owner. Tina’s unexpected visit and coffee had come, she’d said, as a welcome respite.
So yes, it was progress of sorts, that Lily was accepting the inevitability of her move, even if there was remarkably little so far in the ‘sell’ box.
Of course, she was still railing on about the injustice of the whole thing and how could she possibly fit into a ‘tiny’ six-room apartment? But Tina was still glad she’d come, although she’d always figured she was never going to dodge the bullets for ever.
‘It’s true, Lily,’ she admitted, wondering how many other daughters were interrogated so openly on who they might be having sex with. But then, what was the point of avoiding the truth? It wasn’t as if it was a secret. Everybody in Venice who wanted to know must know. ‘I’m sleeping with Luca.’
Her mother sniffed as she sat back in her chair, and it was hard to tell whether she was pleased or disappointed. It was obvious she wasn’t surprised. ‘So, will it lead anywhere this time, do you think?’
That one was easier to answer. ‘No.’
‘You seem very sure.’
‘I am sure.’
‘What about Luca?’
‘He’s sure too. We’re both sure. Can we just leave it at that?’
‘Of course,’ she said, putting her cup down on its saucer with barely a clink, and Tina hoped that was the full stop on that particular conversation.
But then her mother sighed. ‘And yet,’ she continued, ‘it seems to me that for a man to come back for a second bite of the cherry, there must be something he finds...compelling about a woman. I mean, if a man comes looking for an encore, then surely he must be—’
‘—looking for an easy lay. Leave it, Lily. I don’t want to hear it. It’s not leading anywhere. At the end of the month I walk away. Luca stays here.’ She shrugged. ‘End of story.’
‘Well, it just seems such a waste. I don’t know why you’re not taking advantage of this arrangement. You could do a lot worse for a husband.’
Tina rubbed her forehead. Why did headaches so often coincide with visits to Lily? ‘I’m not actually in the market for a husband.’
