AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The whole thing would have beenembarrassingif Mitch weren’t so caught up in the torrid dance between her mind and body. Chemicals released from one while the other put up a defense shield. It was too much. A wave. A tsunami of torrential emotions that made Mitch feel like she had no control over anything.
She needed comfort. Specifically, Vanessa’s comfort.
“It’s okay.” Vanessa opened her arms to Mitch crawling into her embrace, farther away from the hot shower water and everything it did to her. “It’s all right, my dear. I’m not angry at you. Not at all.”
“I betrayed you!” Mitch sobbed into the crook of her Mistress’s neck, like a child searching for absolution. “I went to another woman. I would have let her touch me. You should be pissed at me!”
“I’m not.”
“You should be!” Mitch didn’t realize her voice could reach such heights at five in the fucking morning. “I’m the worst! Theworst!I put you through all of that because I’m such an idiot. I could have gotten myself killed. Or… or worse…”
“You didn’t. You would have known when to defend yourself.”
“I could have watched you die. That woman would have killed you. Then done God knows what to me…”
“Mitch. Please.” Vanessa buried her nose in her partner’s hair. As tears hit her chest, she realized that this had affected her strong wife more than either of them had ever anticipated.
Isn’t that how it goes?Wasn’t that Vanessa’s fear from the beginning? That Mitch might push herself too far, in any endeavor?She gives everything her absolute all. She doesn’t think twice about pursuing something in a scene. She’s so susceptible to other ideas when in her persona.Which was why Vanessa was always with her in some capacity. It was Vanessa’s job to stay sober among the masses who might try to take advantage of someone as beguiling and open as “Michelle.” When Mitch got to flirting, she often had them around her finger within the hour. Someone running off with her to get hitched? Absolutely not beyond Vanessa’s imagination.
There were days when she took credit for that. Sometimes, Mitch agreed. Without Vanessa, there was no Mitch as everyone enjoyed her.
Including Vanessa.
“I betrayed you…” Mitch repeated, weaker. “It shouldn’t matter why I did it. Ever since this began… I’ve been losing myself…”
“I know.” Vanessa clung to her, as if the moment her hold died, her beloved would melt into the water. “Why do you think I’ve been so upset lately? You’re myeverything.The day you leave me is because God has taken you from me. I’ll be damned if some other woman thinks she’sGod.”
They held each other as Mitch continued to sob and Vanessa struggled to think of what to say. She wasn’t angry at her partner, that much Mitch could tell, but something did threaten to destroy the last of their marital naivete.
“I could never be mad atyou,” Vanessa hissed into the rain of shower water. “You did what you thought had to be done. To protectme.”
Mitch’s crying stopped, but her form still strained in Vanessa’s arms.
“All because the authorities used us as pawns against that woman. From the beginning, I knew it was dangerous. Too dangerous. I would have rather ended up in jail on a technicality than subject you to that club. Every time you went out to work, by yourself, you took a piece of mysoulwith you. I should have been there. I should have insisted to Lister. You only did as you were told. I was the one who vowed to always protect you when we got married.”
Mitch lifted her face. “I vowed to protect you too.”
Vanessa cupped both of her hands around her partner’s cheeks, pressing their wet foreheads together. “Nobody could ever tear us apart. I’ve never lost my trust in you, Mitch. Not once. So don’t you think you’ve betrayed me. My fear was in losing all of you to whatever terrible plan that woman had in store for you.”
“I hated the way I felt around her,” Mitch confessed. “Because I wanted her to consume me, too.”
Vanessa lowered her hands to Mitch’s shoulders. The shower continued to thunder around them, but all Mitch heard were the ragged breaths in her partner’s body.
“I feared her, but I also wanted her. It was like my body tore me toward danger while my brain tried to keep up and remember she wasn’t a normal woman. She was awful.”
“Sometimes you get carried away…” Vanessa was always careful when chastising Mitch. Any layer of blame she draped over them would be held in Mitch’s heart for much longer than was healthy. Like Vanessa, she was sensitive. It had taken months, years of open talk, and couples therapy for someone like Mitch to finally admit what she wanted from their sex life. And Vanessa hadn’t thought twice about it because she claimed to love how peaceful their lives were after a wild night on the town.
Mitch wasn’t the only one who got caught up in the moment. Open communication and trust that neither of them would overreact to anything was paramount. Mitch trusted her Mistress to be as understanding as possible, even when Vanessa had to say no.
Vanessa hated saying no. Because, as she had explained on their wedding night, she loved how much Mitch glowed when her Mistress said yes.
“That’s all I care about. Your happiness.”
“All those awful things she said to you when you…” Mitch almost lost her voice. “None of them were true. You have to know that.”
“Oh, my dear, I’m used to the things people say about me. I can’t let them get to me just because they think they’re better than me. What’s it to me if they don’t understand our dynamic? Not everyone expresses their love for this lifestyle the same way. I’ve been honest with you since the beginning that I’m willing to try almost anything once. Like you, I yearn to feel alive.”
“I feel my most alive when I’m with you.”
