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She looks at me as though she’s startled. It’s like she thought she was still in the crack den. Or maybe she was pilled-up in her bed in her mind, thinking this was all a wild nightmare. Reaching for the bedside cabinet, she grits her teeth, then pulls her hand away like it’s burned.
It confuses me at first. Then I understand. It’s a habit. She was reaching for her pills. “I’m never taking another,” she says, looking at me with determination.
“What about withdrawals?” I ask quietly.
“They gave me some medication at the hospital,” she says. “More pills, but not the really bad ones, and I’m going to ween off these, too. I promise.”
I walk to the bed, sit, and take her hands in mine. She feels so clammy and cold. “I believe you, Mom,” I say, though I’m not sure it’s true.
CHAPTER20
Elio
“What climbed up your ass and died?” Luca says from the passenger seat. “Did I fill out that spreadsheet wrong or something?” He laughs gruffly.
I drive through the city, teeth gritted.
“Elio?” Luca says, nudging me on the arm.
“We don’t have to talk,” I tell him.
“Jesus, bro,” he replies. “Is it this dinner? You know what Mom’s like. She’s probably hired some entertainment. Maybe she’s invited one of her opera singer friends over.”
“She said Dad requested the dinner,” I say, which means she most likely lied. As twisted as it might be, I believe my woman, my singing angel, over my own mother. What does that say about me? “Anyway, it’s not about that.”
“What is it, then?”
“I’m fine.”
“No,” Luca snaps. “You can get away with that shit with the men. Even with Mom and Dad, but not with me. Remember, I’ve been looking up to your grumpy ass my whole life. I’m better at reading you than you give me credit for.”
I sigh darkly. “Maybe I’m losing my mind, that’s all.”
“All the violence lately?”
“No, fuck no.” I grip the steering wheel hard. “Everything we’ve done has been justified. You saw the sick stuff those men had on their computers. I don’t feel bad about putting goddamn bullets into their worthless heads.”
“Just talk to me, then.”
“Is this a therapy session?”
“It’s about your lady,” Luca says. When I don’t reply, he continues, “I knew it. You’ve changed since you met her. It’s only been, what, a couple of days? But you’re like a different person. I know I’m right. Your lady’s making you lose your mind. That’s it, isn’t it?”
I groan as I come to a stop at a red light. “If I tell you, you have to promise not to repeat it.”
“Obviously,” he says.
“Yeah… but promise.”
He puts his hand on his chest, half-joking, half-serious. “I promise. I’ll take it to the grave.”
“Something happened to me when I first saw Scarlet,” I tell him. “The second I saw her in that restaurant, I knew I wanted her.”
“There’s nothing strange about that. I’ve wanted plenty of women as soon as I saw them.”
“Not like this,” I tell him. “ThemomentI saw her, bro, I knew she would be my future wife. She was going to be the mother of my children. She belonged—belongs—to me. This happened in an instant. It was like a religious revelation.”
A car behind me honks the horn. I’m lingering at the light. When Luca turns and puffs himself up, I pull away quickly. The last thing I need is my little brother getting into a road rage scene.
