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Chapter one
FelixReid'shandstrembledas he adjusted the collar of his borrowed dress shirt, the cheap polyester fabric scratchy against his neck. He stood in a dingy motel room, the kind with peeling wallpaper and stained carpets that had seen better days. The smell of stale cigarettes and mold lingered in the air.
"No need to be nervous, sweetheart." Gordon leered at him from across the room, a middle-aged man with a receding hairline and a predatory grin. Somehow, that exactly didn't make Felix feel any less nervous.
Instead of answering, Felix averted his eyes, staring at the worn bedspread instead, hating himself for feeling so out of his depth.
He didn't want to be here. But with his parent's sudden deaths came bills and responsibilities. If he wanted to keep custody of his younger sister, he needed to keep the lights on and the fridge full — the people from the department had been crystal clear about that. As young as he was, he was already on thin ice with them.
They'd take any excuse to put her into the system.
Felix wasn't going to let that happen.
But despite working multiple jobs as a dishwasher, delivery boy, and more, the mounting bills had backed him into a corner. It had left him no choice but to try to find other ways to make money.
Gordon was one of them.
If the cost of keeping his sister safe was his body… It would have to do.
Felix forced himself to give his client an empty smile. "I'm not nervous," he lied.
He'd always known he was gay. When he'd signed up for the 'dating' site, he'd thought that since he was into guys, this wouldn't be so bad.
Now, though, finally on the edge of going through with it, Felix was beginning to understand that there was a difference between his secret fantasies and this unpleasant reality.
Gordon didn't seem to notice Felix's silence -- or if he did, he didn't care. "We'll have a good time. Get comfortable," Gordon said, smirking as he loosened his tie.
Felix hesitated, looking around the dingy room, wishing he could be anywhere else but here. He thought about Luna, his younger sister: her bright smile and boundless curiosity, and how he'd do anything to ensure she had a roof over her head.
That thought alone gave him the strength to continue, despite the nausea churning in his stomach.
"Alright," Felix muttered, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, watching as Gordon's eyes raked hungrily over every inch of exposed skin. The weight of the older man's gaze made Felix feel vulnerable and exposed, a sensation that both terrified and disgusted him.
"Come here," Gordon commanded, patting the bed beside him. With a deep breath, Felix obeyed, his heart pounding in his chest like a trapped bird.
"Relax, sweetheart," Gordon murmured, running a hand through Felix's dark hair. The touch was gentle, soothing -- and then suddenly, it wasn't, Gordon gripping it tightly at the base of his skull. "It'll be harder for you if you don't."
Yeah, like that was going to put him at ease! Felix swallowed hard, trying to steady himself as he focused on the feel of the worn sheets beneath his fingers and the faint hum of the neon motel sign outside the window.
"Can we… can we just take it slow?" Felix pleaded.
"Sweetheart, I'm the one paying for this," Gordon drawled, adjusting the waistband of his pants with a smirk. "I call the shots."
"Okay," Felix whispered, taking a shaky breath as he tried to will his racing heart to calm down.
He'd known what he was getting into. This was his decision. He had no right to complain…
"Christ, you're uptight, aren't you? Here, take this." Gordon held out a small pill, its surface gleaming under the low light of the motel room. "It'll make everything more enjoyable for both of us."
"N-no, thanks."
"It's not gonna bite you," Gordon said, irritation seeping into his voice. "Take it. It'll make this go faster."
Felix hesitated, staring at the pill with apprehension.This is dangerous, stupid! Don't you dare!
He knew he couldn't afford to alienate Gordon, but the thought of losing control terrified him.
But if it would make the time pass quicker…
