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“Okay, one day, you’re going to have to tell me the real reason you suddenly stopped liking Courtney.”
“I do like her,” Andrea started defensively, “as far as I can throw her,” she finished off, titling her head unapologetically.
She went from really liking Courtney Watson to not liking her at all in the space of a conversation Andrea had eavesdropped on. And there was no way in hell she was ever going to tell Lindsay the reason for her change of heart, either.
“She just started to give me bad vibes, but that is the least of our concerns,” she said, changing the subject.
“I still can’t believe I did such a stupid thing, and now look what we have to do. You’re going to kidnap my brothers, I’m going to drug their best friends—”
“Okay, let’s not focus on it that way. I’m just going to temporarily reroute your brothers while you lull their best friends into a cozy, warm sleep, which they probably need, and then you’re going to borrow something from them.
“There’s almost nothing wrong with what we’re doing.”
“Exactly—haha. Well, sarcasm is the mother of all fuck-ups, so there.”
“Maybe I should just come clean? What’s the worst they could do?”
“Never forgive you and then maybe kill you, and you’re too young to die; you only have two hundred and fifty-six pairs of shoes; that’s nearly not enough for a lifetime.”
“Facts,” Lindsay nodded seriously. “Okay, let’s do this,” she said, picking up a big red Santa bag lined with white fur and tossing it over her shoulder.
“That’s the spirit, Ms. Claus.” Andrea clicked her fingers. She’d been overly enthusiastic, motivating, and encouraging to make Lindsay feel better about their madcap plan, but that didn’t mean that on the inside, she had a slew of lead-heavy demon-possessed butterflies drop-kicking her in the ribs with every breath she took.
Too late to change her mind now.
She stuck the mustache to her upper lip, then pulled the cap down over her hair as carefully as she could.
Not that she would change her mind—Lindsay needed some spectacular bailing out of a situation, and Andrea wasn’t going to leave her hanging.
She picked up a Christmas bag as well that she had stuffed with some board games and extra snacks to keep Lindsay’s brothers entertained during their… captivity and was ready to leave.
Andrea had come up with their damage-control strategy within an hour ofthe event.She was, after all, a cozy mystery writer. She may have a knack for going around things in sheer chaos and tremendous mayhem and taking one too many colorful detours, but in the end, everything worked out perfectly fine.
“Don’t forget this,” Lindsay said, handing her a smaller red stocking lined with fur. “I don’t want Mrs. Barker coming up here to inspect my room and finding it and thinking it’s mine. She’ll have my parents send me to a nunnery.”
“How could I forget that?” Andrea said, grinning mischievously as she grabbed the bag from Lindsay. “I’ll be sure to report back with a detailed review after I’ve sampled the lot.” She’ll just keep her little Christmas presents to herself with her until she got home.
“Probably from a hospital bed,” her friend said, grinning back at her.
It was true what Lindsay said about Mrs. Barker, their housekeeper though. There were times she told Andrea straight to her face, that she needed praying. And maybe sometimes she did.
Putting on their swagger, they marched with purpose, like fierce princesses, out of the cozy mansion that Lindsay called home.
Except, when they got to the garage, they stalled as they both eyed the limousine in front of them for a full five minutes.
“I had no idea it was that long,” Lindsay said, standing beside her. And that from a girl who traveled in nothing but a chauffeur-driven limo every other day of her life.
“That’s what she said,” Andrea mumbled dryly. “Me. I’m theshein this case. What’s your excuse?”
“I mean from this perspective. I don’t think I’ve looked at one fully before actually riding in it.”
“Well, you’ve totally fetishized an entire vehicle, Lindsay. We'resogoing to nail this.” Andrea set one bag down and high-fived her friend.
“I don’t think this has ever come up in our friendship, but you’ve never driven one of these before, have you?”
“A penis or the limo?”
“The latter. I’m very well aware of the lack of the former.”
