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His mother sighed. “I guess you can’t always believe everything you read online.”
“No. You can’t.” She didn’t call to tell him she was getting married. He was almost sure of it. Maybe she was calling to apologize. Maybe she was going to try to get their friendship back. He wasn’t sure. He supposed it was long enough ago that it didn’t matter.
“She’s divorced now. Her grandmother just died. And she had to sell everything, even her horse. She is about as low as a person can go. I was hoping you would be friends with her.”
“She sold her horse?” Of all the things his mother had said, that was the one that struck him the most.
“Yeah. She was one that she almost won the barrel racing championship on or something. She was worth a lot of money. But she had to make a choice as to whether she was going to feed her children, or whether she was going to keep the horse. I think she chose the correct thing.”
“Yeah. She did.”
And he had Goldie. Boy, he could hardly imagine what Dakota would say when she found out. Would she be upset? Would she be relieved? Would she hate him even more than she already did?
He assumed she hated him. Why else would she have married Gregory? As far as he knew, she had the same feelings toward Gregory that he did. The guy was a good rider, but he was arrogant and annoying.
“I just know she’s had a hard life. She doesn’t have anyone in the world, other than her sister whom she’s not very close to. I was hoping that here in Strawberry Sands we could make her part of our family.”
“No. Mom. Did you not hear me? I ruined our friendship by spending the night with her. We...can’t do the friend thing anymore.”
That was icky. He didn’t want to talk to his mom about that. He pinched the bridge of his nose. This was not a conversation he wanted to go any further.
“Listen, when you sin, you have guilt. It leaves scars, and it makes you regret things. But you can’t expect the rest of the world to operate off of whatever it is that makes you uncomfortable. You need to face your sin, get forgiveness for it, and move on with your life.”
He didn’t want to listen to his mom, didn’t want to hear that, even though he knew she was right. The whole reason that he wanted to talk to her was because he knew that she would have wisdom for his situation. And it was right there; that was what he needed to do. He needed to apologize to Dakota and get forgiveness. Otherwise, if his mom insisted that they needed to include Dakota in family functions, everything was going to be extremely awkward.
“I know you’re right, Mom. I don’t really want to hear it, but I suppose the right thing is not usually the easy thing.” He ran a hand down Goldie’s back. Her fur was soft against his palm, smooth like satin. This was the horse that Dakota loved, and somehow he had ended up with her. He ended up in Dakota’s building, fixing her shop. His mom had gotten involved, and it seemed like everywhere he turned in his life, Dakota was there.
Lord? I suppose this means I’m supposed to be doing something, but You know I can be kind of dense. What is it that I’m supposed to be doing?
Apologizing for one. Helping her for another? Even though he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay far away from her, except he wanted to be close too.
“So I apologize. I ask for her forgiveness, and then what?” he said, knowing his mom always had thoughts about things. Usually, she was right.
“I understand you have history, but she’s here, and if you are going to be a friend at all, she needs you now. She needs someone, anyone. Maybe you can be a blessing to her. Once you find out what you can do, put the effort into being a blessing.”
That sounded simple, and maybe it would be, once he got past the apologizing.
“Thanks, Mom. I can always depend on you to give me straight talk, even if it isn’t what I want to hear.”
“And I can always count on you to do the right thing,”
“No. I’m pretty sure I just told you I didn’t do the right thing.”
“That was years ago, Ryan. I’m going to assume that it isn’t going to happen again.”
He hadn’t touched alcohol since. And while he dated a few times, he’d never done anything even remotely close to what he’d done with Dakota. For some reason, while his body was willing, his mind was not. Seemed like his brain was stuck on her.
Even though she hadn’t been stuck on him. After all, she’d asked him to marry her and then turned around and married Gregory instead. Which was so unlike her that he’d been shocked by the news.
His eyes narrowed. Why would she have done that?
