AllFreeNovel
Share Us
For him, everything changed the night they’d spent together, and...maybe he’d fallen in love with her. Maybe he had already been. But she left, and he’d known that was what needed to happen. Because he wanted a championship. But if she had woken up in his arms, if she had admitted to enjoying the night as much as he had, could they have made things work? Would he have given up everything for her?
In hindsight, maybe life made him wiser. Maybe he was closer to the Lord now than he was then. Maybe experience had taught him that the championship was a worthless thing. Awards, accolades, whatever they were, they didn’t matter. It was how a person treated other people. How they built their life based on biblical values, who they helped, who they served. How they lived for Jesus, not what they won or the money they made. Or even what kind of horse they bought.
“Do I owe you an apology for the phone call too?” She had asked him to marry her, out of the blue. How was he supposed to act at the time? “Why did you ask me to marry you?”
“I’m trying to figure out if you’re really as clueless as you seem.”
“I am. In my mind, everything was all about that night. It’s what changed everything for me. I... It was the best night of my life. But you left. And I was afraid if I allowed everything to change, I would lose everything I had built.”
She narrowed her eyes and looked at him. Except she wasn’t looking at him. She wasn’t talking to him. And she looked shocked and angry and cold. “Are you out of your mind? We were both drunk.”
“I wasn’t so drunk that I don’t remember everything.” He wanted to set his food aside, but instead his thumb traced the edge of the Styrofoam container. “I was with my best friend, and I felt like I...loved her.” He lifted his eyes, unable to keep whatever emotion he was feeling inside from coming out on his features. He didn’t even know how to school his face so that it wouldn’t show...pain? He was feeling that. But also regret, deep regret.
He pushed the memories of that night aside. He’d tried to convince himself that he didn’t feel anything for her, but it wasn’t true.
She snorted and looked away. “I was so drunk I don’t remember much of anything. I woke up, sick, with a hangover the size of Texas, and I looked over and you were naked in my bed. Or, rather, I was naked in yours. Not exactly something a girl is proud of. No one raised like I was anyway. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I was embarrassed and appalled. That wasn’t what I was raised to be.”
“Me either. But you can admit there was sin while still knowing that what you did was special.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t remember hardly anything. I told you that.”
Was it true? Could she really not remember anything?
“Why did you call me?” Suddenly that was the burning question. Because she said the phone call was the problem.
She stood and put her hands on her hips. Ryan set his food aside as well and rose also, hoping she wasn’t going to leave without answering. Without talking this through.
He didn’t necessarily want to talk, but if they were going to be in the same small town, they had to figure something out. Or he supposed they could just brush it under the rug, but his mother would never be happy with that solution.
“I called you...because I was pregnant with your child.” She kept her hands on her hips and faced him, like she was facing a firing squad. Like she expected him to attack her. Or in defiance, like she didn’t care what he said, she was going to battle with him.
“Pregnant?” That was not what he was expecting. He hadn’t even considered that. Although he should have. He had considered more the emotional implications of that night, which was really crazy, considering that he was a guy and he shouldn’t care, except he did. He cared a lot. He wanted her to care too. Maybe she did. He thought back, then answered his own question.
“That’s why you asked me to marry you.” He was just putting it all together.
“Yeah. You pretty much shut that idea down.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
“How many times did you tell me you didn’t want the burden of a wife or child or children? How many times had you said that you couldn’t win a championship with that kind of ball and chain around your neck?”
She was right. He said that all the time back then. Being a father, being a husband, was about the worst thing he could think of. It would end everything, except... It would’ve been a good thing. To have a woman like Dakota beside him, to raise their children together, to... His mind stopped. Was one of the children that she had with her yesterday his?
That idea took his breath away.
He wanted to go directly to that, but that wasn’t what she needed to talk about. And for once, maybe he had gotten wiser through the years, but he knew that what he felt wasn’t the most important thing right now. He had let her down when she needed him. Even though she hadn’t told him, he should’ve known that his best friend wasn’t just going to call him up and ask him to marry her. But through the years, he’d been stuck on the night they had. And she didn’t even remember it. Or didn’t want to.
“So you knew that I didn’t want children, but you asked me to marry you?”
She looked away.
“Dakota,” he prompted her. Wanting her to explain. To tell him what he needed to hear. To make him understand what exactly was going on.
“I found out just a few minutes before I called you that I was pregnant. I hadn’t even had time to process it myself. I just knew I didn’t want to raise a child alone. I was scared, I... I wanted you. Not just as the father of my child, but as my friend.”
“And I let you down.”
“I didn’t present it very well. I know I didn’t. But I was so messed up. I regretted that night. I have some feelings from that night, but I really don’t remember much of anything. And that wasn’t the biggest thing. The biggest thing was that I knew that what we did was something that I probably had wanted to do for a long time and I just didn’t realize it. But the baby changed everything. And when you said no to marrying me, I knew that that was what you were going to say anyway. And I had a choice. I could either tell you about the baby and crush all of your dreams, or I could suck it up and handle it myself.”
