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“The end of November, most likely.” Aero felt disappointment and longing settle in his chest. He was going to miss her.
“We can still, um…” Sam started to say, but she wasn’t sure if Aero would want to continue seeing her once his work was finished.
“Yeah,” Aero agreed. The knowledge that she wanted to see him even after his work was done at the school made his chest feel warm and tight. It was dangerous to be with Sam. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he was drawn to her, enjoyed her company, and felt at ease with her in a way he hadn’t experienced in a long time.
“Maybe we should—” Sam started to say, but the waitress arrived, and her thoughts were cut off. They ordered their drinks and meals, handing the waitress their menus and lapsing into silence.
“I don’t date much,” Sam muttered as an explanation for her apparent lack of communication skills.
“Why not?” Aero asked, genuinely curious. She was lovely, compassionate, and smart. Certainly, men would throw themselves at her.
She shrugged. “I spend a lot of time at school or planning for it. I want my kids to be excited about learning, and that takes a lot of effort on my part. That doesn’t leave much time for socializing.”
She said it in a way that made it clear she was fine with it. Her students were her priority, and he didn’t miss how she called them “her kids,” as if she were a parent to every one of them. Her passion for her career made him smile.
“What about you?” Sam asked, stroking one finger over the lines of his palm, which was face up on the table. It tickled, but he didn’t dare move. She might stop, and that was the last thing he wanted.
“Um.” Aero blinked. “I have a hard time with people, as you know.”
Sam nodded, pressing her palm down lightly on his. It couldn’t just be that he didn’t like being touched. There had to be more.
Before she could ask, the waitress returned with their plates.
“Thanks.” Sam smiled at the woman, who paused before leaving.
“Enjoy your meal. I’m not sure if I told you before, but my name is Sarah if you need anything.” The waitress flounced off, and Aero sat frozen, staring at his food.
“Aero?” Sam watched him. “Are you okay?”
Aero didn’t hear her. He only heard the blaring in his head as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the sound. His heart beat frantically, and he worried he might pass out, sweat beading on his forehead. Black static took over, making the sights and sounds of the restaurant disappear, leaving only the cold, lonely void of panic.
Sam looked him over with concern. His shoulders were hunched, his face strained, and he was clutching her hand almost painfully. He trembled as if every muscle in his body was tense to the point of snapping, a ticking in his clenched jaw.
“Aero,” she repeated, not understanding what was happening. Was he sick?
Glancing around, no one else seemed to notice them. Sam wanted to call for help but didn’t know what help Aero needed.
Sam removed her hand from his and set her napkin aside. She rounded the table, crouching beside Aero where the other patrons couldn’t see her.
“Aero,” she said his name softly, reaching up and setting her hand on the back of his neck.
His eyelids popped open, and he looked down at her, his green eyes haunted.
“Do you wanna leave?” she asked patiently, “or get some air?”
Aero nodded stiffly, standing and dislodging her hand from him. She trailed along behind him as they exited through the front door, and Aero stalked quickly toward his truck. He sat on the rear bumper, breathing in the cool night air.
Sam watched him, wanting to offer comfort but not knowing how.
“I’m sorry,” he rasped when his head cleared and he found his voice.
“It’s okay,” Sam said gently, moving to sit beside him but not touching him.
He stared down at his boots, and she asked, “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Immediately, he shook his head no, as if in reflex. Aero blinked, following cracks in the asphalt with his eyes, trying to calm himself. He knew he should talk about it. His therapist was always encouraging him to share, to let someone in, and to talk his way through the spells, no matter how uncomfortable it was. But he couldn’t.
Aero looked over at Sam, tracing the lines of her profile and watching her bite down on her bottom lip. She was worried about him. As much as he wanted to put her at ease, the words wouldn’t form.
