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‘You can’t? But you have to, Jake. It’s the only way.’
‘Listen, Sophie, the doctors think my memories of those minutes may never be recovered. All I have is fragments and impressions, but they may mean nothing, the doctors think, or they may be scenarios I’ve come up with since to explain in my mind what happened.’
She swallowed and wiped away moisture she hadn’t realised she’d shed from her cheek. ‘What do you think happened?’
There was a long sigh at the end of the line and a sound like he had slid down the wall to the floor. ‘I have this impression—this feeling—that Emma came to me for help that night. We weren’t really good friends but we’d talked sometimes at school—when Caruana wasn’t around, that was. I’d heard they were getting married and I didn’t see her all summer. Until that night.’
Sophie heard his ragged breaths as he paused, willing him silently to continue so that she could make sense of the horror of that night, make sense of everything that had happened since.
‘It was raining heavily, and I have this impression of her standing on the doorstep, soaked through, her eyes swollen with tears. I can’t remember the words, but it was all mixed up with the baby and Jo and Daniel coming home. She was scared, desperate to get away. But I can’t remember why!’
‘It’s okay, Jake,’ she said, wishing he wasn’t locked alone in a bathroom half a world away, wishing she could be there to hold him. ‘Take your time.’
‘I’m okay.’ He sighed. ‘And then I have this picture, like a photo in my mind, of Emma behind the steering wheel, with me beside her yelling at her to stop. But she didn’t stop. We were both thrown from the car. The police didn’t believe I wasn’t driving.’
‘And the baby? Was it yours?’
‘I swear to God I never slept with her, Sophie. I didn’t see her all summer before that night.’
She let go a breath that carried much more than just air. ‘But everyone assumed you were.’
‘I didn’t wake up for two months, and by that time everyone believed it. Emma was dead and buried and people were starting to come to terms with it. What point would there have been in digging it all up again?’
‘So you let them go on thinking it?’
‘It never mattered, Sophie, because I could live with myself. I knew I hadn’t done the wrong thing and that was good enough. But it mattered when I fell in love with Monica and found out who her brother was. I tried to talk to him; I knew we had to sort it out some time. But he wouldn’t return my calls. And what could I really tell him that he’d believe anyway?’
‘I understand.’
He sighed. ‘I’m sorry. I know it was asking too much of you, but I was really hoping that if I disappeared with Monica he might get used to the idea. I thought he’d have to. I see now I was running away when I should have stayed and dealt with it myself. I’m sorry to drop you in it like that, Soph. It must have been a nightmare for you, putting up with him all this time.’
‘It had its moments,’ she said quietly. ‘But I’m glad you told me at last. You know you have to tell Daniel. He has to know the truth.’
‘Even though I don’t know it all? Why would he ever believe it wasn’t my baby?’
‘You have to try.’
‘Yeah, I guess you’re right. Maybe we’ll come back early. At least then it might put an end to these offers I’ve been getting.’
Sophie’s ears pricked up. ‘You’ve had more?’
‘It’s up to one and half million. Nice work, if you can get it.’
Fury welled up inside her. What would it take to make Daniel believe it? ‘I told him, Jake. I told him you weren’t interested.’
‘It’s okay. It means I need to come back, in that case, so I can tell him where to shove his money myself. There’s no way we’re going to sort this out with text messages.’
She heard the muffled sound of a woman’s voice and a knocking. ‘Soph, I’ve got to go. Talk to you tomorrow.’
‘I’m moving to one of the cabins,’ she said matter-of-factly over an untouched plate of mushroom risotto. She’d only come to the dinner table to tell him what she was intending to do, not to eat. ‘I’ll continue my work from there, which makes sense, given we’ll be having the reception at the long-house pavilion.’
Across the table from her, he put down his fork. ‘You’re still persisting with this farce of a wedding, then?’
‘I spoke to Jake. He’s coming back to talk to you. He’s got things you need to know—need to hear. Like the fact Emma wasn’t carrying his child.’
