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“Is that my mother?” He’d have heard Father’s reaction, and aside from that, Verner was a few years older than me. Our mothers had once been friends, he had more chance of remembering her than I did. I needed to hear it confirmed.
“Yes.” He glanced at me before looking back out at the crowd who were slowly growing quiet as they realized the king and queen had gotten up to speak. “Your father is not best pleased to see her.”
“I gathered that.”
“Are you going to talk to her?”
“With my father here?” I shot Verner an incredulous look. Maybe—maybe—if Father hadn’t been here, I might have approached her. If only to see how she’d react to me. Would she be happy to see me? Angry? Ashamed?
But it would be such a betrayal to Father to speak to her in front of him. Her leaving had caused him so much pain.
“Thank you for joining us for the Festival of Shadows,” the king said, surveying the crowd. “The queen and I are very grateful to the hardworking palace staff who have made this event possible, as well as the artists who have come to show their talents—it’s a pleasure to have you here.”
He didn’tsoundlike it was a pleasure, but after all this time, I’d come to learn that the king just never sounded particularly happy. I searched the crowd, finding my mother looking up at the dais from a few rows back. She appeared to be with friends, occasionally leaning in to whisper something to the group.
Did they know about the two children she’d left behind?
“I would also like to welcome Cassiel of Erith back to court,” King Allerick continued. Mother stopped whispering at that. She seemed entirely frozen in place. The king was still speaking, but my attention was wholly absorbed in my mother’s reaction. She’d shrunk back a little behind her friends, very much looking as though she’d prefer not to be seen.
“Wife, you wanted to say a few words?”
I blinked in surprise. Ophelia had told me that under no circumstances was I to make a self-recrimination speech, but I didn’t realize she’d planned to say something.
“I would.” I looked back in time to find Ophelia beaming at me, and it was impossible not to relax a little under the full force of her positivity. “As much as I wish I could keep her here forever, my incredible guard, Levana, will be leaving with her father. He’s had to come and drag her away because I’d never let her go otherwise,” Ophelia joked. To my surprise, the Shades in the crowd actually laughed, reminding me that this wasn’t such an emotionally fraught moment for everyone else.
Father did not look happy, but I found it easier to look at him now than I did to look at my mother. Maybe it was cowardly, but now the moment had arrived, I didn’t want to see her reaction to me.
“Levana has been such an important part of my journey here in the shadow realm. She made me feel safe, she made me feel welcome, and she was one of my very first friends here. Saying goodbye is hard, but I know it’s not forever. I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon. Can we all show Levana some appreciation?”
“You didn’t tell me you were leaving,” Verner accused softly, his tone light, though hiding an undercurrent of hurt.
“I didn’t know when exactly it would happen.” I hesitated for a moment. “And maybe I was ignoring reality a little, hoping it would go away.”
Father was already pushing the crowd toward me as Verner grabbed my arm, turning me urgently to face him. “Levana, if you don’t want to go, then don’t go.”
“I can’t say no—”
“Tell him we’re trying for a baby.”
“What?”
“It’s what both of our families want anyway. We could make an announcement about it.”
It was an incredibly generous offer, delivered in a very stilted, uncomfortable way for reasons I wasn’t sure Verner was ready to admit to yet.
Anyone who was looking could see how smitten he was with one of the ex-Hunters. I wasn’t sure Verner had ever approached her, or if she was even aware he existed, but he definitelylikedher. Even pretending to show an interest in me might ruin the possibility of something ever coming of it.
And then there was Calix. The idea of him thinking for even a second that I was interested in someone else…
“We both deserve to be happy,” I told Verner with a weak smile. “You should talk to that ex-Hunter, you know. You’re very caring and it seems like she needs that—”
“Come on then,” Father clipped, shadows swirling around him in agitation. “You made an absolute mess of that, you can’t do any more damage now. This was an absolute disaster,” he added under his breath, shooting a furious look at the dispersing crowd. I couldn’t see any trace of my mother, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. I had enough going on.
Verner startled, looking between us, but I was already shooting him and then Ophelia apologetic looks as I followed Father away.
Ophelia watched with a sad smile, leaning heavily against her husband as I walked away, Father leading me toward the more private entry room near the training grounds, still muttering angrily to himself.
The queen had all but declared that Father couldn’t trap me in the house forever by saying she’d see me again soon, and I didn’t think it was an accident. Ophelia may have started out naive about this world and the power she wielded, but she wasn’t anymore.
