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Aknockonthedoor of my apartment only ever meant one thing.
Nyfain.
Fixing a pleasant expression on my face, I opened the door and gestured for my father’s butler to enter.
“Tea?” I asked, going through the unnecessary song and dance we always went through.
Nyfain shook his head, folding his hands behind his back and waiting for me to sit down while he remained standing. This wasn’t Erith and I found the formality of his behavior stifling, but in the seven years I’d lived here, I’d long since given up on telling him it wasn’t necessary.
“How is my family?” I asked, sitting up perfectly straight on the too-soft sofa that was trying to swallow me up. The décor was older than me—possibly chosen by my great-grandmother when she’d lived in these apartments at court—but changing a single thing was absolutely forbidden.
I may be the only one who lived here, but these roomsbelongedto my family.
“They are well and eager to hear how you’re faring, as always.”
“I’m fine.” We’d had this exact conversation every week for seven years—first at the Pit when I’d worked there, now at the palace—the words were meaningless at this point.
“Your sister has been trying to conceive a child with Andrion from Penrith for the past five years.” I nearly choked on my saliva.Thatwasn’t a conversation we’d ever had before. “He already has an eldest child and heir. Any child born of your sister will stay at Erith.”
“Does my sister know you’re telling me this?” I blurted, mortified on her behalf.
Nyfain looked down awkwardly. “Your father asked me to relay this information.”
“Right. Of course.”
“There are early signs that she has been successful, though it is too soon to know for certain. Your uncle is getting on in years, and nothing is more important to the longevity of the family at this point in time than your sister’s heir. If there is a baby, your father expects you to return home.”
From the moment I’d left home, I’d known this moment was coming and yet I didn’t feel any less unprepared for it.
Don’t complain. Be grateful. You got longer than you thought you would.
To this day, I didn’t know why that was. My only guess was that I’d risen higher in the Guard than my father had expected me to, and he was concerned about how it would look to recall me at this point.
“I see.”
“Your father would like to remind you—”
“That I would return willingly and gratefully at his request, I remember.”
For a brief moment, it almost looked as though Nyfain felt sorry for me, though I had probably imagined it. He was my father’s right hand through and through.
“I will inform you once the pregnancy is confirmed.”
I shot him a tight smile. “Thank you, Nyfain. Please give my regards to my father and sister.”
“It would be my pleasure.” He bowed slightly, backing away and excusing himself from the apartment. I supposed I should be grateful that my father hadn’t summoned me home to deliver that news in person. Even Father realized that his mood was foul whenever he requested I come home, though, because it meant me leaving again.
There was another knock on the door and I stood reluctantly, dragging my feet as I crossed the room. Nyfain had probably forgotten to deliver some other warning about my behavior and he’d never lie to my father and claim he’d done something if he hadn’t.
“Did you forget— Oh. I’m sorry, come in, Captain.”
I bowed my head instantly, standing back for Captain Soren to enter. What could he possibly want with me? Aside from the king and the crown prince, he was the most powerful Shade in the realm. I was good enough to be stationed here at the palace, but hardly the most impressive member of the Guard and certainly not worth being singled out.
Unless I’d done something wrong.
Had I done something wrong?
Perhaps someone had complained about me. I knew I’d developed something of a reputation for being stuck up, though I hadn’tmeantto. Even after seven years away from home, I was still overwhelmed by the idea of casual socializing. It wasn’t done at Erith. I’d never learned how.
