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I knew exactly what had happened. But I couldn’t tell him that the weight of what I’d lost was sometimes too much to bear, and it dragged me down until I struggled to breathe. And his thoughtful gesture had been what tipped me over the edge.
“No need to apologize. I remember what happened every time you kept your emotions bottled up.” He mimed an explosion, and I sniffled a laugh.
“I’m not the same person anymore.” Tears still brimmed in my eyes, and my voice was scratchy from crying.
“You might have changed your hair, and your clothes are more expensive, but you’re still Thea.”
My chin dropped to my chest, and I studied my immaculate manicure. “I’ve missed you.”
His eyes softened. “Then why did you disappear? I would have done anything to stay in your life.”
Lifting my head, I took in his pleading gaze. “I didn’t know how to tell you what had happened. I barely spoke to Everleigh the first few years. And you were off at college, finally living your life. I don’t know how to explain my marriage.”
The knuckles of the hand holding his glass were white, his posture rigid. “Then explain it now. I want to understand.”
“I can’t.”
Because doing so meant giving away William’s secret. One I’d sworn to protect.
His face closed down, pain flickering in his eyes before he took on an expressionless mask. Nodding, he set down his full glass of milk and walked out of the room without a word. I slumped in my seat, hot chocolate forgotten. Every time we talked, I seemed to make things worse. But I’d made a promise. And if nothing else, my word meant a lot to me.
After all, it was all I had to give.
9
ARCHER
Thea was hiding something.And despite my promise to myself to keep much-needed distance between us, the need to find out what she wasn’t telling me burned a hole in my chest.
I’d been spending my nights in the gym, exhausting myself to the point that I could barely stand up. But it was the only way for me to sleep. It was also something I hid from my therapist. I was sure adding insomnia and obsession with a client to her report wouldn’t get me out in the field any time soon.
But for now, I was taking Thea out of the house. Walking into their industrial-sized kitchen, I greeted Jacques, then turned to Thea, who was finishing a shake. “You ready?”
Setting down her glass that was whipped away by the busy chef as soon as it touched the marble of the counter, she picked up her bag. The thing was big enough to hold anything from a coffee machine to at least three outfits, including shoes.
I’d noticed she never left the house without it, despite the worn-out corners and faded color. She could afford to replace it with ten better ones, but I recognized it as one that Everleigh had given her one year for Christmas when we were all still living in Falina.
She stood up, waving at Jacques. “Let’s go before all the flowers are gone.”
Thea loved to go to the markets every Sunday. She’d missed a few weeks, but there were no immediate threats that would prevent today’s trip. And since I was a controlling asshole and trusted nobody else with her safety, I insisted on being the one to accompany her every time she left the house.
I walked her out to the waiting car, and our driver, Kelvin, opened her door. He was another of my men and acted as backup if needed. I hoped I never had to make use of him, because it would mean I hadn’t been able to protect her.
I slid into the passenger seat, unable to stop my eyes from wandering to the rearview mirror, watching Thea settle into her seat.
Her hair looked like spun gold in the early morning light, her beautiful eyes hidden behind large sunglasses she’d slid on as soon as she stepped foot outside the house.
She didn’t have to make the trip since Jacques took care of all the food shopping. But she enjoyed wandering the busy markets, stopping at almost every stall.
Thea always bought something for Sofie and often included a present for Everleigh as well. But she’d always been generous, sharing what little—and now unlimited—funds she had.
The market was a nightmare to secure, but I knew how much the trip meant to her, so I didn’t ask her to stop going.
“Stay close to me,” I told her once we arrived.
Rolling her eyes, Thea waited for me to get out of the car and open her door. “Really? I didn’t think you were serious when you told me to not leave your side the last twenty times.”
I took her elbow, my eyes never leaving our busy surroundings. “Smartass.”
