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William took my other hand. “We were going to talk to you once you got back from Chicago, but then things happened with Archer, and I didn’t think it was the right time. And now here we are.”
I squeezed his hand. “Yup, now here we are.”
Silence descended over the table, the stark realization of my situation crashing over me. I was a grown woman who was too scared to live on my own. And my husband’s lover wanted nothing more than to move in but probably hadn’t pushed the issue because they had been worried I’d get upset.
But if recent events had shown me anything, it was that I finally had to take charge of my life instead of hiding. And Ciel moving in was the best possible push anyone could have given me. Not that I wouldn’t love to live with both of them, but it was time they made their relationship official. And if that meant William needed a push as well, I was all too happy to give it to him.
Releasing both Ciel and William, I lifted my red wine that had appeared while we’d been talking. “To new beginnings.”
We clinked glasses, and I took a hefty gulp of the merlot I loved so much.
I didn’t even have to order my wine anymore. No wonder I had lost the ability to take care of myself. William did it all for me. And if he wasn’t around, Ciel picked up where he left off.
And I’d needed the comfort it brought to know that someone had my back when I first broke free of my past. But it was time I took myself back out into the world.
The rest of dinner was as it always had been between us. Easy. Comfortable. Fun. We chatted and laughed and talked about people we knew and people we wished we didn’t.
When we arrived back at the house at nearly midnight, I was tipsy, but I’d also come up with a plan. One I didn’t want to delay putting in place.
Halting inside the entrance, I turned to my husband. “William, you got a minute?”
He released Ciel’s hand and smiled. “Of course. You want to talk in my study?”
“Sounds good.”
Carter disappeared in the direction of the pool house, and Ciel made his way to the staircase, humming a tune under his breath. He stopped as if he’d remembered something, then turned to wave at me. “See you at brunch tomorrow,ma chérie.”
“Good night, honey.” I blew him a kiss and followed William to his study.
William poured us a glass of wine each and then sat down on the couch, where I’d already made myself comfortable. We’d had countless conversations in this office, sitting just like this, me with my legs folded underneath me on the couch, William patiently waiting for me to tell him what was going on.
Taking a sip of my drink, I fought the urge to finish the whole glass. This wasn’t going to be easy for either of us. I set the glass down on the table and smoothed out my dress before lifting my head. “I want a divorce.” There was no need to beat around the bush. “And I’m moving out.”
Saying the words felt liberating. And it made me realize how unhappy I’d been.
William leaned forward, his eyes wide with surprise. “Honey, if you don’t feel comfortable with Ciel moving in, we’ll wait. This is your home too. We just thought since you got along so well and we’d been together for a while, it was time. But I would never force this on you.”
“I’m happy that you’re finally taking this step. But I want you to do ittogether, without a third wheel. And I need to grow up. I can’t depend on you for the rest of my life. You saved me when you asked me to marry you. And now I’m saving you by leaving. You need this time with Ciel. He can’t stay your dirty little secret forever.”
William shook his head, his eyes flitting over the room as if he was looking for an escape. He loosened the collar of his shirt with jerky movements. “Nothing has to change. Things are perfect the way they are. We love you. And I really think this could work.”
Clasping my hands in my lap, I cleared my throat. “You are a fantastic businessman. I know it, your clients know it, and your partners do too. You’re also a fantastic husband to me and an even better boyfriend to Ciel. But how much longer do you think we can all live like this?”
I made every effort to sound confident, but my chin trembled, and my voice shook.
William flinched at my words, his eyes never leaving mine. “I didn’t ever want you to regret marrying me. You’re one of the best things that has happened to me in my life. But I’ve failed you. I put you in danger. And I’ll never forgive myself for it.”
“I’ll never regret marrying you. Never. You didn’t fail me.” My voice was firm, my gaze holding his, making sure he knew how much I meant it. “You’ve given me a life I could never have dreamed up for myself. You supported me with anything I wanted to do. I love you. Always will. And me moving out doesn’t mean I won’t be in your life anymore. It’ll just be in a different capacity.”
He slowly shook his head. “Things are great. We don’t have to change anything.”
“I need to do this, William. I need to stand on my own two feet. To prove to myself that I’m worth something. You can’t support me for the rest of my life.”
He pushed his shoulders back. “But I want to, damn it. You deserve it more than anyone I know. And I have more money than I can ever spend in this lifetime. And it’s my decision what I do with it.”
“But don’t you see? It’s not my money to have. I’ve been taking the easy way out for way too long. It’s time I stop putting my head in the sand and start taking care of myself.”
Because one thing I’d realized while wallowing in self-pity was that I wanted to be with Archer. And this was the only way.
