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“Ugh. You're all insufferable.”
* * *
Pullingup to Toby's house with Ollie and Chip eased the low-level anxiety thrumming through me. I'd been here a couple of times for different events he and Samuel had hosted for The Tap Tavern employees, but I'd never come when it was just Toby's friend group. I didn't feel like I belonged here, but Chip still struggled with being so easily accepted by this large chosen family, so if nothing else, I needed to be here for him.
“Are you sure I look okay, Daddy?” Chip asked Ollie. We were all supposed to come in sweats and t-shirts, so I wasn’t sure how good we could really look, but I understood his apprehension. I’d felt weird dressing down to go to a party, too.
The big man cupped the back of Chip's neck with his large hand. “You look good enough to eat, chocolate Chip.”
Chip giggled as he glanced quickly in my direction in the backseat. “Daddy,” he said, sounding embarrassed.
“You two are the sweetest,” I said, wanting to alleviate his discomfort. His cheeks flushed pink, and Ollie nodded at me with approval. I kinda hated how proud I felt. It didn’t have anything to do with wanting Ollie, but I’d been by myself for years, so it felt good getting affirmation from someone I respected as much as I did Ollie. “Okay.” I rubbed my hands together, uncomfortable at my own thoughts and wanting to get this show on the road. “Let’s do this.”
Ollie chuckled. “Is this you putting on your brave face, Luca?”
I shrugged. “Well, I'm obviously not getting out of it, so I'll make the best of it. What do you say, Chip? Ready to go have some fun?” I didn’t really expect to, but I’d fake it for his benefit. And for Toby’s, too. As much as I bitched about not wanting the guy to find me a Daddy, and as much as I’d kept my distance from him and his friends, it wasn’t because I disliked them at all.
In fact, it was quite the opposite. I just knew that I didn’t have a place with them, so I didn’t want to set myself up for loneliness. That wasn’t the case for Chip. Ollie was very much a part of the family that had been found and created at The Tap, so the longer Chip was around everyone and the more comfortable he became, the sooner he’d be one of them for life.
Chip smiled brightly. “Sounds good.”
Ollie jumped out of the driver's side, and Chip turned farther in his seat and stared at me. “Are you sure you're okay? If you really don't want to stay, I'll have Ollie take you home, and I'll make your excuses to the guys.”
And this right here was exactly why I had to go in. He genuinely cared about me, and I wanted to be a good friend back. “No, it'll be fine. Maybe it'll even be fun. I just don't want them bugging me about finding a Daddy. The last thing I need in my life right now is a relationship.”
“I'll protect you,” he said sincerely. Ollie opened his door for him, and I took a deep, shaky breath. It was time to go in there and pretend that I didn’t want what they all had. That my stomach didn’t swoop, and a large part of me didn’t long for all the sweet little things their Daddies did for them. Or how in awe I was of the fact that all the Daddies wanted in return was the love and trust of their boys. It was easier to fool myself that I was happy when I kept to myself.
As I went to get out, my door swung open. Expecting to see Ollie’s face, I looked up, prepared to say thank you, only to be confronted with Harrison's smirk. Okay, it was really a smile, a super sexy one at that, one I’d have no defenses against if I acknowledged that. “Hello, Luca. It’s nice to see you taking a night off to relax.”
I huffed, wanting to scream with frustration. Everything out of kilter in my life was this person’s fault. If it wasn’t for him and how easily he got under my skin, I wouldn’t have blurted out that I was a boy in the middle of The Tap, and then I wouldn’t be in this situation. I’d be at home watching Christmas movies. But no, I’d lost my temper and admitted to being a boy to make a point. Why? What was I trying to prove?
It wasn’t like Harrison or his opinion mattered to me. Was he easy on the eyes? Unfortunately. Was there something sexy about how confidently he took up space? Sure. But he was older and rich, so he’d had time to learn how to take advantage and manipulate, to appear sincere while getting his own way. I’d had a Daddy like that before, and men like that weren’t worthy of the moniker Daddy. Nope. I’d take a hard pass on even associating with someone like that. Although, that really wasn’t a problem with this supposed Daddy, was it? His type was even worse. He didn’t want a real relationship with a boy, just to play with one at his own convenience. If I kept reminding myself of that, maybe it would sink in.
“What are you doing here?” Quirking my brow, I said, “Unless you had a change of heart, and you're ready to make a real commitment?” Without giving him a chance to answer, I snapped my fingers. “Oh no, that wouldn’t make sense. No unattached boys here tonight.” For you to fuck and discard, I thought, but I kept that part to myself. Ollie and Chip were standing right here, after all, and Chip had already heard me rant about Harrison more than I was comfortable with.
Harrison snorted. “Believe it or not, Luca. I’m not a total horndog. Orson and I came together to spend time with our friends while you boys hang out.”
Why couldn’t I want Orson? He was quieter than the rest of the Daddies he hung out with, but he was so respectful and polite to everyone. He’d been part of Christian’s friend group for years and years, so I’d met him—and Harrison—pretty quickly after starting at The Tap. Back in the day, I’d always worked the night shift, and that was when Christian and his friends used to plant themselves at a table for hours at a time and shoot the shit. It was before the rest of them had found their happily-ever-afters, and I’d always admired him. Why couldn’t his name have made my dick plump instead of it being the timbre of Harrison’s voice?
Harrison held out a hand. “Aren’t you going to get out?”
Like I really needed his help getting out of the vehicle. Maybe I wasn’t tall, like him, but I wasn’t helpless. I glared at his hand, then eased out of my seat, slipping past without touching him.
“Have it your way then,” Harrison said with a shrug.
“I will.” I stomped past him and met up with Chip, who was waiting for me by the frontend of the vehicle. Linking arms with him, the two of us moved up the walkway. Ollie followed Chip closely, ready to spring into action if he stumbled or if his nerves got the best of him again. I swear I could feel Harrison’s hot breath on the back of my neck, and I suppressed a shudder.
The front door to Samuel and Toby's house stood open with a warm light glowing from inside and the sounds of laughter ringing loud and clear. As we approached, Samuel opened the storm door and held it open. I'd always really liked Samuel, a huge teddy bear of a man, and I adored him for Toby. “Welcome, welcome.”
Chip gave an awkward little wave and mumbled something inaudible, so I said, “Good evening. Thank you for having us.”
Samuel frowned. “Luca, you know you've always been welcome here.”
I forced a smile, uncomfortable with how friendly these men had always been to me, knowing that I wasn't really the most open guy in the world. But I had my own reasons, and I wasn't going to explain them now…or ever.
Right inside the front door, Ollie helped Chip out of his winter coat. As I unzipped mine, Harrison smirked, taking a step toward me. As subtle as possible, I glared daggers in his direction. Luckily for him, he held his hands up in surrender and took a step back. Like I needed his help. As I began to shrug out of my own coat, Ollie appeared behind me. “Let me take yours too, Luca.” I let him, but this was exactly what I didn’t want or need reminding of. How nice it was to have someonethereto care for my needs.
Samuel gestured toward the mouth of the short hall. “Go on in, boys. Everyone else has arrived already, and I know Toby's excited to get this party started.”
