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So do I squeeze every last drop I can from this amazing, once-in-a-lifetime, makes-me-want-to-sing-like-a-Disney-princess relationship?
Or do I walk away now and try and break my heart a little less than further down the line?
What would I even do, though? Move out of the flat? Encourage Colby to move in with Andreas and then get myself some random person in as a new roommate? Neither of those options fill me with anything but dread.
However, the more time I spend envisioning having to wave goodbye in July to the two men I love as I walk through the departure gate at Sydney International Airport, the more desolate I become.
Yeah, yeah.I said what I said, even if it’s only in my head. I LOVE Andreas. I don’t care that it’s only been a month. And I know it’s a different kind of love than I have for Colby, but he’s a different kind of man.
Realizing this is how I feel only twists the knife in my heart harder. So I do the very responsible, mature, adult thing and get absolutely hammered on the flight, crying as I watch several romcoms until we switch planes and I can mercifully spend the last several hours of the journey in a thought-free coma. My dreams might be screwed up, but they’re abstract. The pain is dulled, at least for a while.
If Andreas and Colby notice my melancholy, they don’t say anything. They just tease me about my hangover once we land in Sydney, but even then, Colby still hugs me, and Andreas picks up my suitcase without a word.
Our body clocks are fucked, so Andreas takes us to the taxi stand so we can get a cab home and probably sleep for the next eighteen hours. Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, so we just need to be recovered in time to get to Andreas’s apartment by about eight o’clock so the three of us can spend the night celebrating midnight together.
I’m not sure I’ll feel like celebrating, though.
As I throw my clothes off and crawl into my bed, I send a prayer up to the goddesses watching over me that my stupid mood will go away tomorrow so I can at least have fun with my boyfriends while we’re all still in the same country.
Sometime during my fitful sleep marathon, I realize that Colby crawls into bed with me. I don’t exactly wake up, but I cling to him for dear life.
SomehowI’ll work this out. Stupid international laws can’t keep us apart. Romance has to overcome them because if anyone deserves a happy ending, it’s Colby Wilson.
For now, I let sleep drag me under. With my baby boy wrapped in my arms, things don’t seem quite as bad. Who knows what the new year will bring? After the last incredible month we’ve had, I’ve got to cling to hope. We have no idea what’s about to come around the corner.
I can’t give up.
Even if I have no idea how to stop this from happening.
CHAPTER24
Andreas
I’m usedto worrying about Colby.
Jalen is a whole different matter.
I got more and more concerned about him on the journey back from England, but he clearly wasn’t going to tell me what was wrong. I didn’t want to spoil the end of our trip, and I knew he was going to be jet lagged as all hell, so I didn’t push it at the time.
Instead, I focused on fighting off my jet lag by unpacking and then while the day away working on my apartment so it would be ready to host my boys for New Year’s. I know they’ve been here plenty of times by now, but things are different now. They’re officially my boyfriends.
I want this celebration to be special for them because they’re special. The most special things to me in this whole, wide world.
Whatever is troubling my little firecracker, I’ll fix it. We’ll work it out together. I just need to find out what it is first.
After New Year’s, though. Tonight, I just want to have fun, and watch the fireworks over the Opera House from my balcony with my boys. So I spend the afternoon stringing up fairy lights outside and printing out photos to put in my handmade frame from Jalen, capturing so many memories from our trip to the UK.
I video call with my sister and say hello to our parents along with my nieces. I’m very glad to hear that Gregory hasn’t been any more trouble since Christmas Day, and I secretly hope that the girls never have to see him again if they don’t want to. I wish everyone a happy new year now, as from experience, I know it’ll be impossible to try and get a decent connection later.
Somehow, I manage a trip to the supermarket and say a silent prayer that they’re not sold out of everything I want in order to cater for my boys. Even though it won’t be as good as my dad’s, I do my best to make a curry as well as put together a bunch of nibbles to keep us going until the clock strikes twelve and beyond.
Around six, I feel myself flagging, so I jump into the shower to freshen up, picking out a nice shirt to wear with my favorite jeans. It’s silly, but I almost feel a little nervous waiting for them to arrive. This is the longest we’ve been apart since the day before our flight to England. Logically, I know that in the past eighteen hours, they probably haven’t decided they want to break up. Still, when my doorbell rings, my heart leaps in my chest, and I can’t stop myself from grinning as I rush across the apartment.
“Happy New Year!” they both cry as soon as I swing open the door. As soon as I see them, everything feels right with the world again.
“Happy New Year,” I say warmly as I draw them both into a hug.
Colby looks dapper in a nice polo shirt and jeans, but Jalen has gone all out with a dark, glittering maxi dress, sparkling sandals, and enormous bejeweled earrings. He’s even got a little tiara nestled in his curls.
