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I burst into laughter.
“Fight? Is that what you call it?”
He tenses.
“I’m teasing you, Fernando. I’m not completely naïve to this world and what happens.”
“Why do you not fear me?” He leans his head to the side, studying me.
“It’s the way you stare at me. It’s different than anyone else ever has.”
“The way I look at you?”
I nod. “For so long I’ve been taught to sit and look pretty. That I was to be quiet. Sitting in a room for hours with people, you learn a lot about them. I watched them. I fear a lot of them. Some that have never said a single word to me, but with you, I knew the second you burst into my bedroom you weren't going to hurt me. It was all over your face. Don’t get me wrong, you’re good at hiding your emotions and keeping your face unreadable, but there are always small signs if you know what you’re looking for. They’re not always in the face. It’s body language too. People think they get this gut feeling about things, but that’s not what it is. The truth is, it’s their mind noticing things and taking in details. The mind senses the danger; you're just not understanding why.”
“You’re not only pretty, Bianca; you know that, don’t you? You are far more cunning than you give yourself credit for.”
“Does that mean I can have more wine?”
Fernando barks a laugh and fills my cup halfway up again.
I snag my glass and jump up from my seat. “Is there music here? Can we put some on?” I want to let loose for once. And not have to worry about every single move I make. Something I never got to do at home.
He stands, pulling out his phone. His fingers move across the screen. A giggle bubbles free from me. He glances up at me. “What?”
“It looks so small in your hand.” I laugh harder. “You’re so big.” I don’t know why this is so funny to me. I’m sure it has something to do with the wine. “I bet you could crush it with your bare hands. Get it,bear?” I lift my hands like a bear and growl.
Fernando stares at me, and I wonder if maybe I hurt his feelings. I rather love his giant bear hands. In fact, I want him to touch me with them. I start to apologize, but then he throws his head back and laughs. It’s deep, and the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m walking to him. I grab the front of his shirt and pull him down into a kiss. Fernando groans and deepens it. I try to rub myself against him, but he suddenly pulls back, his breathing heavy.
“You’ve been drinking.” See, how is he the Butcher? He’s so sweet and unwilling to take advantage which, while noble, doesn’t mean I don’t want one of those orgasms again.
“Okay, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do things we did before. I was sober and okay with them earlier,” I point out. This all sounds logical to me.
“That was before you knew who I was.”
“You’re not my Fernando?” I ask.
“I will only ever beyourFernando.”
“Good.” I smile up at him. “Now music me. I’m gonna dance.” I spin away from him in a twirl. A second later, music fills the air, and I dance.
For the first time in my life, at this moment, I feel free. It might be an illusion, and I know things are far from over, but for tonight, there is only my Fernando and me.
13
BUTCHER
She dances until she sways on her feet, her body falling asleep before her mind. I catch her and cradle her in my arms, her eyes barely open as she watches me carry her to our room.
I gently lay her in the bed.
I shouldn’t be here with her like this, not when she’s impaired and I can’t take my mind off the seductive way she moves. Her body is warm and soft–everything I’m not.
“You look so serious.” She slurs her words as she runs her fingers down my forearm. “Always so serious.”
I smirk and hook my fingers in the waistband of her pants and pull them down, then toss them aside. “You look drunk.”
