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When I finally catch my breath, I pull out and reach down, grabbing her and lifting her back to her feet. Tucking myself back in, I meet her gaze.
“Keep testing me, Carina. Keep testing me, and the next time I’m going to shove myself inside that virgin cunt of yours.” The words are mine. They’re on my lips, but it’s the snapped version of me talking. The level-headed Gilly would never say anything remotely like this. Neverdoanything like this.
She licks her lips. And, as if she’s even more emboldened than before, she says, “Who said I’m a virgin?” With that, she pushes past me and out of the pantry, her hips swaying as she strolls away and leaves me speechless.
8
CARINA
“Wow, blue really is your color,” Angelica says, glancing over the fifth dress I’ve tried on. My brother didn’t want us all going out shopping, so he brought the store to us.
The library has been turned into a dress shop. There are racks and racks of clothes along with a million boxes of different shoes to pick from. It’s a bit overwhelming. I should be excited. Isn’t this a girl's dream? I think part of the problem is I don’t know what my dream is in life.
For a while, I thought about college, but I think the Palermo blood runs too deep in my veins. If I’m not thinking about Gilly, I’m thinking about what else the BB crew could be doing. Unfortunately, Ocean has grounded us. Magic still can’t find the mystery man, which is insane.
Has he locked himself in a house somewhere or something? It’s hard to stay hidden these days. Cameras are everywhere unless you know what you’re doing. I still can’t get his face out of my mind. Yet I can’t place him no matter how many times I wrack my brain. That worries me because he might be doing the same thing when it comes to me.
“It really is. It’s her eyes.” Yes, my eyes. A bright blue that is striking. People always comment on them. Too memorable. I’ve never thought about that before now.
I cock my head, staring at myself in the mirror. The dress is beautiful. The top is tight, pushing my boobs up, making them seem bigger than they really are. I’ve always been on the small side. It’s partly why my brother always pushed that I needed to be able to protect myself. Too bad he didn’t teach me how to protect myself from his own right-hand man.
I lick my lips, still shocked over what happened with Gilly. Mr. Always-in-Control forced me to my knees and shoved his cock into my mouth. It was so damn hot. It took everything I had to walk and not run from the pantry. I’d gone straight back to my bedroom, and with only a few touches, I came harder than I ever have in my whole life. Sure, I’ve given myself a few orgasms, but this was nothing compared to the others. What would it have been like if it was Gilly that got me off? I shake the thought from my head. I can’t allow my mind to go there.
I should be livid. Ihadbeen livid when I’d waltzed into my brother's office that day. Somehow, in a weird way, Gilly snapping back at me had not only cooled my anger, but now it has me all over the place inside. The tables have turned now, and I’m the one avoiding Gilly.
“Maybe I should try something else.” Because they aren’t wrong. As I stare at myself in the mirror, that is not a girl staring back at me. I’m a woman in every sense of the word.
One that has offered herself up on a silver platter to suitors. The problem is, even if I really did want to do this, I would never know if the man I picked actually gave a shit about me or merely wanted part of my last name and the connections it would bring.
“We don’t have time, and that one is perfect!” Angelica protests as a knock sounds at the door.
It swings open a moment later to reveal Butcher. His eyes go straight for Bianca. There has always been a darkness that surrounds Butcher, but when he sees Bianca, I get a glimpse of Fernando. The man behind the Butcher. The one few know. I think Bianca is the only one that truly knows him in every way.
“You have guests.” Butcher steps forward into the room, revealing three women behind him.
“Come in, ladies.” Bianca grabs a hold of Butcher, trying to show that he’s not as scary as he appears. They all give him wary glances. My first thought is that she’s lucky most people are scared of her man. Keeps everyone at arm's length. When women see Gilly, they swoon, and I want to vomit. “Who put you on door duty?” She laughs, pulling him back out of the room. The door falls closed behind them. I think Butcher just stole her. She’ll be back at some point.
“Come. You can set up here,” Angelica tells them before she makes introductions. “Do you mind if I go first? I want to make sure everything is going as it should.”
“Nope.” I drop into one of the chairs and watch both girls descend on Angelica–doing her hair, nails, and makeup.
She’s all worked up because this is the first event she’s really hosted as my brother's wife. She’s good for him. Angelica can be equal parts sweet and fuck around and find out. Especially when it comes to someone she loves.
Do I lack sweetness? I thought I might, but Gilly somehow knew I was a virgin. How? He knows I’ve been sneaking out. I’ve always been a bit rebellious, but I wanted what my parents had. Our father might not have been the best at leading our family, but he loved Mom. There was no one he was more loyal to than her. My brother is the same. I want that. As rebellious as I am, I still hold on to a few old school values, I think. My virginity is for the man who will love and adore me forever. The one who will pick me over all others.
Is that really so much to ask? Gilly would never pick me over my brother. I need to come to terms with that. Maybe tonight isn’t as bad an idea as I thought.
The girls work their magic on me and then Bianca when she finally returns. During that time, I decide that tonight I’m going to be open to possibilities. I’m not sure I want to be the head of a family, but I do know I am a part of this world, and I’m not going anywhere.
9
GILLY
This is insane.
I stare at myself in the mirror, taking a long, hard look. Even so, I still haven’t come to grips with what I did to Carina in the pantry a few days ago. And Ireallycan’t come to terms with what’s going to happen tonight.
The staring contest has to end. If it doesn’t, I’m going to smash the shit out of my mirror and lose my goddamn mind.
