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“You left to keep us safe,” he said, with fierce determination. “Where we were all going and what we were planning to do was dangerous. We knew that when we agreed to it. People suspecting we were a pack when we were trying to blend in undercover would have made it even more dangerous. For all of us.”
Dio suddenly yanked his head away and looked from me to Sam, who was still sitting on the ground, looking bewildered.
“Holy shit, I get it,” he said. His eyes were wide, and he looked like he should have a cartoon lightbulb above his head.
“What do you get?” I asked. I felt like I’d been constantly playing catch-up since the moment I got here and my head was starting to spin. I’d kept myself calm and emotionless for so many years, always trying to blend in and disappear. The amount of emotions battering me now, both mine and those around me, was becoming a little overwhelming.
Dio grabbed my hand and tugged me over to Sam, before holding out his other hand and yanking Sam up off his feet. Sam looked at me cautiously, and I hated the hesitation in his eyes. It had never been there before.
“Just hear me out for a second,” Dio said, dropping our hands and putting his on Sam’s shoulders, forcing Sam to look at him. “When everyone said you were dangerous growing up, I don’t think they meant you were dangerous to us, or really even to Maia. It never made sense to me they would say that to you, because they sent you to us and our estate was full of kids.”
“Holy shit, you grew up thinking you were dangerous?” Leif asked. “Damon grew up the same. What are the odds?”
Dio waved Leif off, as if he was distracting him from his train of thought.
“I think they meant you were dangerous to them. You would draw too much attention to the Network and all the subversive shit they were doing underground. Your dominance was hard to hide in the early years until you were older and could get enough of a handle on it to blend in better.”
“He’s been blending?” Leif scoffed. Dio shot him a quick grin this time as Sam rolled his eyes.
“I think they also meant those in power would see you as dangerous, so they’d watch you. The same way they’ve kept track of Damon. I think they were just trying to keep you hidden until you were old enough to come into your power. I think they knew you were a prime alpha.”
My mind was racing, putting memories together as Dio talked.
“I think Dio’s right,” I said. “I’d never heard the words prime alpha until after you showed up, but then I heard elders whispering it when they thought I wasn’t listening. When they convinced me to go into a separate military unit, they didn’t say you were dangerous. They said it was too dangerous to be together.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Sam said as he squared his shoulders again.
“Of course it matters. They behaved like you were going to hurt someone and it messed you up,” I said.
“No, you don’t get it,” Sam said as he pulled away and paced between us all. I didn’t like the distance, not when he was talking about leaving, but I didn’t know how to pull him back.
“My rage doesn’t come from them making me think I’ll hurt someone. I know I would never physically hurt someone who didn’t deserve it. Not intentionally. I’ve always been fucking furious that they could never see me through their own fear. Even my own gramps. Everyone pushes me away, so I’ve learned to push first, with everyone except you guys.”
He slapped his hand on his chest, hard, and growled darkly. His voice sounded rough, like he was trying to force it out. “My alpha hates to be thought of as a violent beast that can’t be trusted. It makes him rage and when he does, I can’t communicate properly.”
He seemed to struggle for a second, before he continued on, and we all stood silently waiting. “The fact I won’t let him out, that I drain him to stop people from sending me away, makes him furious. He lashes out like a wounded animal. I freak out and push people away before they can do it to me, and the whole thing becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Sam’s emotions had become increasingly erratic as he spoke his truth, and his dominance started building again. It felt like the surrounding air became pressurized. Dio’s touch seemed to have only taken the edge off. It came back, virulent and angry.
“It fits,” Leif piped in, wincing slightly at the pressure and scents building around him. “The only difference between you and Damon is that he runs ice cold when he’s angry and you run hot. You’ve both had issues with trust in your beasts. Even Maia has all kinds of insecurities from everyone leaving in her childhood that hijack her relationships. You need to talk to them both.”
Rather than calm him, Leif’s words and his mention of Maia seemed to push Sam over the edge.
“I don’t want to keep pushing people away. I don’t want to be too dangerous to be around. And I don’t want to hurt the people I love anymore,” He cried out in a broken sob, tearing at his hair.
“Fuuucccckkkk,” Sam suddenly screamed, and he started hitting his own chest repeatedly as his rage and frustration, after so many intense emotions tonight, overwhelmed him and his dominance burst free.
Leif stumbled back, almost as if Sam had pushed him, but Dio and I sprung towards Sam, grabbing him on either side and squeezing him between us. We each captured one of his hands and held him fast to stop him from hurting himself.
“You’re not dangerous,” I told him fiercely, gripping him with all my strength, “you never were. The only people you’re dangerous to are the assholes ruining our world. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
Pounding footsteps suddenly came down the path towards us, and Dave appeared out of the gloom. He slid to a halt next to us, ignoring Leif, and looking over the three of us frantically.
“What the hell’s happening?” he asked.
“Where the hell have you been?” Dio countered. “You need to get your ass in here is what’s happening. He’s spiraling, and he needs all of us.”
Dave didn’t hesitate. He jumped in as we made room for him in our huddle and he fit like he was the missing piece to our puzzle. I’d only met him tonight, but walking up to find him kissing Lexie in the forest had made me halt. Not because I was jealous, but because he felt so familiar. Like he was a part of Lexie.
