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“Never apologize for your needs, Ava,” Wolf growled, his eyes blazing. “Not to us. Not to anybody. We are yours, in every way. To use in any way you want.”
His words had me gasping loudly, and he looked chastened as he glanced over his shoulder again.
“I’m sorry. Did I scare you?” He asked. He looked suddenly wretched as his head drooped.
I grabbed his face and brought it back up so he could see my eyes. “I know you would never hurt me, and no, you didn’t scare me. Just, nobody’s ever said anything like that to me before.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, seeming hesitant as he searched my face. He shifted as if he would move away, but I gripped him harder. I didn’t want this wild, yet gentle, man to feel a moment’s doubt about himself.
“If I feared you, would I kiss you right now?” He shook his head tentatively, but his eyes flared with hope.
I pulled his head down towards me and ran my lips over his, mimicking the gentle action Cary had used to first taste me earlier. Wolf’s scraggly beard tickled my skin, but I found I didn’t mind. I liked the roughness of it.
“Is this okay?” I asked him.
“Yeah,” he groaned. So I kissed him harder, sweeping my tongue against his. He kissed me back, so sweetly and so gently. He looked so feral, but held me so tenderly. It was a contradiction I wanted to explore further.
Cary’s moan underneath me startled me out of the kiss.
“And now I’m hard again,” he muttered. Wolf just grinned at him over my shoulder. The first genuine smile I’d seen from him.
“It’s not funny. Do you know how uncomfortable a hard-on is with wet pants?” Cary grumbled, but when I looked over my shoulder, he was smiling and looked pleased with the situation. Although he seemed to avoid looking directly at Wolf.
A pointed cough had us shifting to sit up.
“Getting carried away in the moment is one thing,” Ryder said, “but now you’re just rubbing our faces in it.”
My face fell as I realized they’d been watching the whole thing from a blanket next to us. I’d been waiting for a decade for them to find me, yet here they were and I was kissing two other men in front of them.
Ryder was lying on his side along the blanket, his head propped in one hand, but River had squatted on his heels, ready to intervene if Wolf got carried away. He smacked his twin on the shoulder now. Ryder looked confused as he rubbed his arm until he glanced back at my face. He sat up quickly.
“Shit, Ava. I didn’t mean it like that. You did nothing wrong. I was just joking.”
Our argument last night was too fresh for me to brush off his words, though. He hopped up and moved over to me. Wolf shifted back, so Ryder could pull me to my feet. My wet leggings had me feeling intensely embarrassed. I tried to snag a blanket to cover myself, but Ryder grabbed it and dropped it to the ground.
“I haven’t earned your trust back yet. Or your affections. I know that. But I will. As soon as I pull my foot out of my mouth.” Ryder’s emotions had always ridden him hard, and he sometimes spoke without thinking. It had gotten him into trouble a few times over the years. Usually when he was defending someone he cared about, though.
“I trust you, Ryder. My leaving was never about that. You don’t have to earn anything back. I was just upset last night that you thought I wouldn’t want you in my life, in any way I could have you. You’ve always been mine.”
His face brightened, as if a cloud had lifted and the sun had come out. It dazzled me. He reached out hesitantly, and I willingly let him pull me into his arms. A look of determination crossed his face as soon as he had me, chased by a shadow that I hated. Ryder had never been shadowed, he’d always been sunshine on a spring day. “I don’t deserve that, but I’m going to. I swear. Because you’ve always been mine, too. And River’s. I know I had a tantrum last night, and I’ve been a dick since we found you, and I’m so sorry. The fear I’d never see you again had me twisted up inside and it had nowhere to go. I’ve been stuck in a dark, frozen wasteland without you. Having you back means everything to us. I’m going to do better. You deserve better from me.”
I wanted to kiss him so much right now, but I wasn’t sure if kissing three men in the space of a few minutes was okay. Considering I’d never kissed a guy before a few minutes ago.If I kissed him, would River feel left out? Was kissing four men okay?
I must have looked conflicted, because Ryder caressed my face gently. “It’s okay, Ava. We’ve got time. We’re not going anywhere.” Just having his hands on me after so long had sparks shooting through me again and my heart in a puddle at my feet. I’d long dreamed of him looking at me exactly the way he was now.
Footsteps through the leaf litter decided for me. I turned to see Nick coming out of the trees. He stopped short when he saw us all. “What did I miss?”
River just chuckled, which surprised the hell out of me. He could be aloof with strangers. Yet Nick seemed to have gotten into his inner circle with no effort. I didn’t blame him. There was something special about Nick.
I was suddenly glad I was wearing dark leggings and my wet pants shouldn’t be too obvious from a distance. Wolf had no such reservations. He was lying back with his arm under his head again, wet patches proudly on display, as if they were badges of honor.
“How did your call go?” River asked.
“Good. Max is coming and uh, he didn’t say directly, but he’ll probably have company.”
I gasped. “Oh no. I missed the morning call to Maia and Lexie. Dave said if I missed a check-in, they were coming in, guns blazing. I missed last night’s too.”
“Yeah,” Nick chuckled. “I told them you were fine, but they didn’t sound convinced. They said they wanted to hear it from you themselves.”
