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I was so ridiculously into her. It wouldn’t have surprised me if I’d looked up to see a giant neon sign over my head that read,I heart Ava.Yet she’d seemed completely unaware until I’d heard her talking yesterday morning. I still wasn’t sure if she knew I was into her, even though I’d heard her admit her feelings for me.
Watching her blindly run past me, with tears streaming down her face yesterday, had caused me physical pain. Like someone had yanked hard on something inside me. Getting to sleep with her last night, when she’d finally crashed, had helped ease it. I’d spent a long time just watching her breathe softly in the moonlight.
I finally noticed the tray with two plates and two glasses of juice in her hands. She seemed to startle as my eyes landed on it, almost as if she’d forgotten she was holding it.
“You missed lunch. So I brought you some down.” She was still standing in the doorway, so I gestured for her to come in. She squared her shoulders as she came through, and her lips were moving slightly, as if she was giving herself a pep talk.Was she nervous about being down here with me? Or was it this room?
“If you’re busy, I can just drop it and leave you alone. I have some for Max, too,” she said, but her eyes seemed to beg me to let her stay.
“No, no, come in. Stay with me for a bit. Please.” If she had sought me out, she had my complete attention. I wasn’t passing up this opportunity. I jumped up and grabbed a chair, then dragged it over near mine. Like an eager puppy dragging over a toy just so their favorite person would play with them. I needed to find some chill before she realized what a ridiculous dork I was. “I meant to tell you earlier that I still have the satellite phone Dave gave you. Do you want it back?”
“No, it’s okay,” she said as she shifted some folders aside to put the tray on the desk. “We only have a few of them. The girls are here now, and if Dave calls and Max doesn’t answer his pack’s phone, he’ll probably try to reach you.”
“I think Damon took their phone when he saw Max getting hyper focused on the device downstairs. But Damon’s not doing much better with how he’s obsessively watching Maia. So your point stands. Talking of Max, pass me his lunch and I’ll run it down to him. That way you can stay longer.” She passed over a plate and a glass as I hopped back up, but I stopped halfway out the door.
“You’re staying, right? You won’t disappear on me?” She nodded. So I bolted out the door. I was back in minutes, panting slightly. I’d practically thrown the sandwich at Max. He’d hardly noticed.
As I collapsed in my chair, she passed over the other plate. I grabbed it and started munching on the sandwich. “This is so good, thank you.”
“It’s just a jam sandwich,” she laughed.
I shrugged. “Yeah, but you brought it.”
That brought a pleased little smile to her face. I wanted more of those. But there was something else on my mind, too.
“Have you seen Wolf? Do you know how he’s doing after his conversation with Hunter earlier?”
“River told me about that. I went looking for Wolf as soon as I heard and cuddled with him for a while. He seemed introspective and quiet, but I think he’s okay. He’s gone to run the fence line with Ryder. Those two seem to have developed a bromance while they were gone yesterday.”
“Yeah, I noticed that too. It’s a good thing.”
“I agree. It’s just a little weird seeing River and Ryder not joined at the hip. It might seem as if they still are, but I can see a distance there. They were almost like one person growing up. They were never more than a few metres apart. I’m worried what I did has somehow come between them.”
She gnawed on her lip and I had to fight not to reach out and pull her lip free, then kiss it better. I kept a firm grip on my plate instead. “Ava, don’t take that on board. You can’t be responsible for someone else’s relationship. Especially a sibling one. I talked to them this morning and they’re figuring it out. From what I heard, you did what you had to in order to keep you all alive. I think they both know that, even if they processed it differently.”
“I know. It just feels like it broke something in each of us.”
“I don’t think anything got broken, just maybe a little bruised. It seems like they’ve been fighting to get back to you for a long time. It makes sense that a lot of stuff you’ve all pushed down is going to come up now. Just give it time and don’t give up on them.”
She puffed out a heavy breath, then smiled sweetly at me. She seemed suddenly lighter, and my chest swelled at the idea that maybe I’d helped her. Even just a little.
“Thanks, Nick. You’re so easy to talk to. Are you sure me being here is okay? I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy.”
“Are you kidding me? Come find me anytime you want to talk. You could never be a bother, Ava.”
Her eyes widened, and I put the plate down. I gulped some juice, wishing it had a shot of tequila in it for liquid courage.
I was going to shoot my shot. Her pack was forming quickly around her. As much as I craved being a part of it, I needed her to know that who she included in her pack was her decision, and she had options. She hadn’t had many in her life. At least, not since she’d presented as an omega. It was important to me she had one now.
“Ava,” I swallowed hard. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I really like you. And I don’t mean in a ‘you’re a cool chick’ kind of way. I mean, I have deep feelings for you. I know it’s fast, but this isn’t complicated for me. What I feel for you, it’s the simplest, most pure thing I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve felt it since the first moment I saw you.”
I remembered that night. She hadn’t seen me. Lexie had been taking her and Cary to a cabin the night they’d arrived at the farm. I’d watched on the monitors with Maia and Max earlier as the guys had rescued them, but hadn’t been able to see much. Standing in the shadows as she passed, seeing her in person had knocked the breath from my lungs.
She’d been dirty and looked exhausted, like a neglected ballerina doll someone had left at the playground. Yet she’d walked with her head high, with so much poise and dignity. Her pale skin had practically glowed in the moonlight. Cary had been a dark, wrathful, fallen angel at her side.
I’d wanted so badly to reach out to her, knowing instantly I wanted to be the one to look out for her, care for her. Make sure she had everything she needed. But she’d been there and gone again in a moment while I was still figuring out how to breathe again.
I reached out to her now, as I grabbed her hand and pulled it gently into mine. It felt so right to wrap my long fingers around her delicate ones. Even if mine were shaking a little.
