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“Yeah!Claim your prize!”one of the dishwashers shouts.
I shouldn’t.I absolutely should not.But other than striking a blow for all womankind, one thought spurred me on to victory.It’s the thing I shouldn’t want, shouldn’t ask for.Yet I shoot Marcus and Ariel a quick look before I say, “I request aDirty Dancinglift.”
And then I hold my breath.This is the closest I’ve come to even hinting that I want more from Hollis than he’s willing to give me.What can I say?It’s four days until Christmas, and I’m weak.I’ve been endlessly, relentlessly chipper to avoid even a hint of dissatisfaction about keeping him at arm’s length, and I’m exhausted by it.So I’m asking for what I want under the cover of a stupid party game, and now I’m waiting to see if I’ve screwed everything up again.
When I finally get brave enough to look at him, he’s pacing toward me, a slow, pleased smile moving across his face.“I would’ve done that without the need to humiliate me in front of our friends and coworkers,” he murmurs when he’s close enough.
I tilt my head.“Would you have, though?”
His expression goes blank as he gets my meaning.Sure, he’s lifted half the people in this room based on the stories that I’ve heard, but it would’ve been different with me, and we both know it.So yeah, I played him a little bit to get what I wanted.But in my defense, I want thisso much.It’s silly, but I’ve been thinking about it for weeks, and this might be my last chance.
As we’ve been staring at each other, June worked her magic again, clearing a runway and getting somebody to switch the music to theDirty Dancingsoundtrack.And then I’m standing at one end of the restaurant while Hollis stands at the other.He changed into jeans and a V-neck sweater for the party, and he looks so fucking good waiting for me to run to him that I forget how to breathe for a second.Then he grins, points, and beckons me forward.
I do.My last thought before I run full speed down the length of the restaurant, ignoring the laughter and shouts from the people forming human walls on either side of us, isthank god I put black tights on under my dress this morning.
I launch myself at him, trusting that he’ll catch me, hoist me, and keep me in the air without injuring either one of us.No practice, no trial run, no conversations about timing or technique.I just fling my whole body at him, trusting him to keep me safe.
And he fucking does.
“Aaaiiiiieeeeee!”I shriek as he catches me and lifts me over his head as if I weigh nothing, spinning us both in a circle so all I see is a sparkling, twinkly blur of red and green and white and gold thanks to the decorations we hung.My dress has a full skirt, and I’m sure it’s fallen onto his head and might even be covering his eyes, but his strong, steady grip on my hips doesn’t waver.I’ve never felt so supported, quite literally, in my life, and when he does finally set me down, he lowers me slowly, letting my front slide over his so I can feel every inch of his body against mine as I descend.By the time I’m back on the ground and my skirt’s settled around my legs with a swish, my head is full of him.So’s my heart.I want to kiss him so badly, and it clearly shows on my face because his eyes go molten.
I take a step back, needing the space to say what I’m about to say.
“Hollis,” I whisper, heart in my throat.“What if I stayed in town longer?Put off Minneapolis and took some freelance work to see if I could make a go of it on my own?”
Again, I watch emotions cycle across his face.Shock, joy, fear, hope.
“That would be…” He hasn’t let go of me yet, and his fingers tighten around my waist.“That would be incredible.”Then his expression shifts.“Can we go somewhere private?To talk more about this?”
I nod, excitement racing through my veins.Maybe what he needed was to know that I could stick around.Is this what was stopping him last week?
“I’ve bought gifts for June’s kids, but I left them in the car.Let me run out and grab those, and then I’m ready to go.”
He nods, looking thrilled and a little nervous.“Cool.I’ll say goodbye to everyone and meet you in the back.”
I nod and float away, then realize before I’m halfway through the kitchen that my purse with the car keys is stashed in the hostess stand, not my locker.I turn to head back and end up peering through the window that separates the kitchen from the dining room as Hollis hops on the bar to grab a liquor bottle from the top shelf.
“Got it,” he announces.He goes to jump down, but one of the line cooks shouts, “Do the thing, Jonesy!”
Hollis laughs and says, “Sure, sure.One last time.”And rather than simply jumping down, he lifts himself into a one-armed handstand that he holds for a long moment before he twists up and off the bar to land lightly on the ground.
For a split second, I’m frozen behind the door in the kitchen, a confused smile plastered to my face.
He’s Santa.
My friend Jonesy is snake-hips Santa.He’s been snake-hips Santa the whole time I’ve known him.
I take a step backward, then another.I keep going until the dining room isn’t visible through the kitchen window anymore.
This whole time, he’s been… he’s beenhim.He’s been the same guy.
He let me talk to him about Santa Luke.Heasked me questionsabout Santa Luke.And Santa Luke asked me questions about Hollis.He let me tell him things I never would have shared if I’d known.If he’d told me.
He lied over and over.
My breaths start coming too quickly as my vision turns black at the edges.
“You okay, kiddo?
