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“Luckyme,” I shoot back, irritated enough that I don’t bother hiding the truth of that night from him. “You had this, I dunno, thisglowthat I couldn’t stop looking at, and every time you caught my eye, it was like something in here vibrated, like a gong strike.” I press a fist between my breasts. “So yeah, I decided to see if you were feeling it too, and yeah, I hoped it would keep me from feeling so alone for a little bit. Because Sebastian?” He’s looking at me now, really looking, and I unload it all. “You have your family. You have your mom and your dad and your sisters and their husbands and their kids. You haveeverything.And I had Lizzie. But I don’t have her anymore, and that makes me all alone in the world. And I’m fine with that. Losing her was terrible, and I never want to go through something like that again. But you werewithme that night, and I wanted to hang onto that feeling for a little longer. That night, it was either going to be you or nobody, okay?”
By the time I finish speaking, I’m actually breathing a little hard, but all Sebastian’s doing is looking at me blankly. Christ, will I never stop humiliating myself in front of this man? When he doesn’t respond, I huff and reach for the light again. “Fine. You and your hurt feelings can go to sleep. I’ll just—”
“I felt it too.” He scrubs a hand through his hair, leaving it adorably ruffled. “I felt it too, but for a second it sounded like you were just looking for an easy lay. It made me feel…” He shrugs in irritation.
“Oh no.” I soften my voice to be gently teasing. “Did I make you feel like a piece of meat?”
“Yeah. A little.” His cheeks redden. It’s the cutest.
Cautiously, I leave my bed and cross back to his. “Grade-A pilot meat.” My smile widens, and the tightness in my stomach eases when he grins sheepishly back.
“I’m sorry the goods let you down,” he says.
I perch on the edge of his bed, and his eyes drop to my mouth when I wet my lips. “The goods were great,” I say softly. “I just had some things to work through.”
“And now?” His voice is equally quiet, as if he’s holding his breath waiting for my answer.
“And now…”
I could cross the last few inches between us and kiss him right now. He’d let me. I know he’d let me. And then he’ddevourme. I see it in the flush riding high on his cheekbones, in the rise and fall of his chest as he sucks in a shallow breath. He felt that gong in his chest too, and he wants it back just as much as I do.
But the last time we reached for that together, it unraveled me, and I can’t risk that again. Not when our time together’s about to end. He needs to get home to his family, and I need to move on with the rest of my life. This was an odd, beautiful little interlude, but it’s going to end. Ithasto end.
And that’s why I pull away. It’s a tiny movement, but it breaks the spell, and I watch Sebastian blink to clear away the lust that had been building between us.
I draw in a shaky breath. “And now we both need to sleep.”
“We both need to sleep,” he agrees. If he’s disappointed, it doesn’t show.
I switch off the lamp for the second time, but I’m too cozy to move, so I slide down until my head rests on his pillow. He joins me, and his hand finds mine, his fingers tracing the contours of my palm.
“Did you wish you were with your family today?” I whisper it into the dark, unaccountably nervous to hear his answer.
“No.” He sounds a little surprised to realize it. “There’s nobody else I would’ve wanted to spend today with.”
The confession settles inside my chest and makes me wish I’d leaned forward to kiss him. That I was in a place to explore a relationship with someone real and solid and good.
Within a few minutes, he’s breathing deeply, obviously asleep.
I should go back to my bed. But I don’t want to leave this little pocket of warmth here next to him. The darkness wraps around me, pinning me in place, and his fingers are still entwined with mine as I lose myself to sleep.
TWELVE
Sebastian
Iwake up wrapped in Birdy.
Her cheek presses into my chest, and since I never did put my shirt back on, it means her breath fans across my skin with every soft exhalation. She’s worked her foot between my ankles, and although I try not to disturb her as my brain slowly comes back online, I must shift accidentally because she murmurs and burrows more tightly against me.
“What time is it?” she grumbles sleepily into my armpit.
“Don’t know.” I let my hand trace down her side. God, that’s a thin shirt covering her curves. “Doesn’t really matter since we can’t do anything until the windshield guy gets here.”
“Mmpf.” I recognize the instant she wakes up enough to realize our positions. Her whole body stills until she calmly starts to disentangle herself from me. I don’t want to let her go, but I do.
“Wow.” Her smile’s almost shy. “And we did such a good job of staying on our own sides in the last hotel.”
“It’s because I looked so good in those shorts, isn’t it?”
