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“Okay,” he whispers. “Okay.”
And that’s why I sneak out of bed at 5 a.m. while he’s still dead to the world. I dress in the dark, gather my luggage, and slip out of the room, holding my breath as I wait for the elevator and not releasing it until I’m through the lobby and out the door into the pre-dawn darkness to make the three-block trek to Union Station.
Sebastian’s sleepy post-orgasm smile is too hard to resist, so I’m doing the thing I know I need to do.
It still sucks though.
At the ticket counter, I frown at the Christmas greenery on the wall, which looks naked without sand dollars attached to it. But I buy my ticket and board my train, and if I have to dash away a tear as it pulls away from the station, who’s there to see it but me?
FOURTEEN
Sebastian
“Are you ready to tell me what’s wrong with you?”
Darby’s exasperated words cut through the noise of the Christkindlmarket, which is swarming with last-minute shoppers on Christmas Eve. When I tried to sneak out of the house for this errand, Darby caught me, and somehow we ended up volunteering to take Celeste and Aaron’s kids with us. So now I’m on a potentially doomed mission with my sister, nieces, and nephew along for the ride.
“What makes you think something’s wrong with me?” I snap.
Darby gives me a wordlessThat, for one thinglook, and I scowl at her and keep the whole group moving toward the tent I’m here to find.
“Everything’s fine.”
“Oh really?”
I have to slow to let her and the kids catch up. “Yes, really.”
“Because you showed up this morning grumpy as hell a full three days after we expected you, and you’ve barely explained what held you up.”
“Blizzard,” I say shortly.
“Like I believe that.”
The curse of growing up with a sibling only a year older than you is that they know you inside and out and can call you on your shit. But I don’t want to let my perceptive sister in on the pain I felt when I woke up to an empty bed this morning.
Of course Birdy was gone. I should’ve known she would be. Our sex last night had been beyond anything I’d experienced before. Sex with someone I care about. Someone Iknowdespite our short acquaintance. And she felt it too. I know she did. I saw her face as she was coming down from that high with me. She was luminous in a way I hadn’t seen before. She was happy. With me.
And that’s what sent her running out the door.
I wish I could be pissed about her cowardice, but instead I’m at the German Christmas market in downtown Chicago to buy her a gift.
“Is it because of Gabe still?”
Darby’s mostly teasing with that. Her boyfriend and I got past our rocky start last Christmas. We’re bros now. He even pulled me aside after lunch to show me the ring he’s giving to Darby tomorrow morning. I was so excited, I hugged the man.
“We’re fine.” I signal for the group to stop when I see the tent I’m looking for. “Troops! I need your help.”
The children assemble, their mouths and hands full of the giant pretzels we bought them to ensure their cooperation. Their eyes go wide as they take in the rows upon rows of colorful glass ornaments in every shape imaginable: Santas and cats and sleds and croissants and pickles and bears and squids and angels and typewriters.
“I need to find an ostrich ornament. Can you help me do that?”
Darby glances at the four kids, then at the delicate merchandise, and rushes to put her body between them.
“This is a look-but-don’t-touch situation,” she announces, squatting to get at eye level with the tiny ones. “Can you all search with your eyes only?”
The kids shout their agreement and squirm in excitement, at which point I realize what a mistake we’ve made.
“Stop!” I bark, and everyone freezes. Ginny’s sticky fingers are inches from a display of fragile glass stars, and Kayleigh, Tristan, and Madison have fanned out in front of the jungle animal section. “Let’s see who can freeze in this position the longest,” I call.
