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Our Christmas tree, which was supposed to be all pretty and twinkly, was on the floor. All the shiny ornaments were broken into pieces, and the tinsel was everywhere.
I walked over and stared at the tree, freezing when I saw it – the angel ornament that Mommy had told me was her mommy's favorite. It was broken into pieces on the ground.
I reached down and picked up the broken angel. My eyes got watery, and my bottom lip wobbled. This wasn't what I thought I'd see on Christmas morning. I looked over at Mommy, who was all curled up on the couch with bottles all around her. She looked sleepy and messy.
"Mom?" I whispered, going closer. "Mommy, wake up!"
But Mommy didn't wake up. She just made a funny noise and kept sleeping. I looked down at all the broken, shiny things, and it felt like the tears in my eyes were gonna spill out like rain.
"Mommy, where's Santa?" I asked, my voice all shaky. "Where are our presents?"
Mommy blinked her eyes open, and she looked all tired and confused. "Monroe?" she said, like she didn't really know me. "What are you doing up so early, sweetie?"
I pointed at our poor Christmas tree and all the mess. "Look, Mommy! Our tree is all broken, and there's no presents."
Mommy tried to sit up, but she wobbled like a sleepy jellybean. "I...I don't know, Monroe," she said, and her words were all mixed up. "I thought I could...I thought I could make it special for you. But Christmas is so hard…."
I couldn't stop the tears now, and they came pouring down like rain on a rainy day. I plopped down on the floor, and it felt like my heart was crying too.
"I thought I’d been good for Santa," I sniffled, my voice all full of sadness.
Mommy reached out and pulled me into her arms, and I buried my face in her shoulder. She smelled like Mommy, and even though everything was all messy, I felt safe in her arms.
"I'm so sorry, Monroe," she whispered, and her voice was all soft and sad. "I messed up, baby. I messed up bad."
I found out later, in a drunken confession, Mom had sold all the presents that a “Secret Santa” had given us to chase another high.
And I’d hated Christmas ever since.
1
Monroe
Now
“Oh the weather outside is frightful…” Christmas music cut through the cozy silence of my sleep and I blearily opened my eyes, searching for the offensive song.
“Good morning, baby,” Lincoln purred, suddenly hovering over me.
His beauty stunned me for a second, as it did every time I saw him. It was enough to push the song out of my head. Whenever he was near, he was all I could see.
“Hi,” I whispered, reaching up to touch his cheek. He pushed into my touch, that awestruck look in his eyes that he always had around me, like I was the prize and he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have me.
He was out of his mind.
But I guess I already knew that…
And so was I.
“It’s December 1st,” he said as he leaned forward and pulled down the sheet covering my chest. My nipples pebbled as the cold air hit them.
“Mmmh, is it?” I asked, my voice breathy.
“My favorite time of year,” he continued as his lips trailed along my neck, kissing and licking.
I moaned as his hands began to knead my breasts.
“For some reason I thought Halloween was your favorite.” Lincoln lifted his head up to stare at me with those golden eyes of his. Amused. Very amused.
