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There was a long pause and Rubie wanted the ground to swallow her up, but she’d been the one to mess up, and she had to take responsibility for that.
“I’ve…” said Anna, “I’ve never had a Little before. I’m assuming that you are…?”
“Yes,” said Rubie. “Yes I am. You know what Littles are?”
Anna smiled gently, “I do. I’ve been on the kink scene for years, but I’ve never been in that kind of dynamic before. Always been a Domme, just not…that.”
“I see,” said Rubie. “I’m sorry, I—”
“Give me a second, okay sweetheart? Let me finish what I’m trying to say.” Anna’s voice was firm but not stern, and for the first time since she’d uttered the honorific, Rubie felt the anxious tightness in her chest ease a little.
“I can do that.”
“Excellent. Well, like I said, I’ve never done that,beenthat for someone before. But just now, when you said it? Something felt right, as if I’d been waiting to be called that my whole life. I’m not saying that I’ll get it all right straight away, or that I even really know what I’m doing. But maybe I could be your Mommy for Christmas. Would you like that?”
Rubie could think of nothing that she’d like more, but seeing how nervous Anna was, how the cutlery between her fingers trembled slightly, she reached out her hand and touched Anna’s arm gently. “I think I would really like that.”
“Okay then.” Anna’s smile was less tentative this time. “Finish up your dinner, and then we can talk boundaries and safewords. No—” she added as Rubie went to protest. “—eat up first.”
“Fine,” said Rubie, and she pretended to grump a little bit, but really she was secretly delighted. A Mommy Domme for Christmas! What luck!
She ate more quickly than she usually would, so excited was she to get to continue their conversation, and made sure to help with the washing up, and check on the turkey adding its juices to the gravy, before perching on a stool by the cooker to stir whilst they talked.
“Shall we start with safewords?” she asked.
Anna grinned. “Eager, are we?”
“Yes, M—” Rubie stopped. “Is it okay if I call you Mommy yet? Or would you rather wait?”
“If you can call me Mommy and stay out of Littlespace, then sure. But I need you Big for this conversation. No negotiations whilst Little or spacy, understood?”
“Yes, Mommy,” said Rubie with an answering grin. That was best for everyone involved. Clear heads during negotiations, always.
“And safewords seem like a great place to start. What do you usually use?”
“I like traffic lights,” said Rubie, “because I’ve used them plenty of times so I don’t have to stop and think about it in the moment. And tapping out if I’m so overwhelmed I can’t speak.”
“Does that happen very often?” asked Anna.
“Fairly often,” explained Rubie. “It’s what happens when my autism gets overloaded by any kind of sensory input, and physical sensations are no different.”
“That makes sense, and traffic lights work well for me. Red, orange, green?”
“Red, yellow, green, actually. Red for stop; yellow for pause and check in with me; and green for this is fucking awesome, don’t stop.”
Anna raised an eyebrow. “Such language from such a Little girl.”
Rubie blushed and ducked her head. “No swearing?”
“Well,” said Anna. “I get the impression that you swear quite a bit, but maybe no swearingatme. Does that seem fair?”
She nodded vigorously. “Very fair. Other boundaries?”
Anna paused here. “I don’t really know how to…I know that everyone is different. Is Littlespaceseparatefor you?”
Rubie thought for a moment about Anna meant and then understood. “Oh! You mean do I like to have sex when I’m in Littlespace? No, my Little is pretty nonsexual, but Mommy as an honorific is just that, an honorific. So I’d tend to use it inside and outside the bedroom; unless that would make you uncomfortable?”
“No, that would be fine with me, I think. And speaking of bedrooms,” here Anna flushed, but she met Rubie’s eyes straight on and let all of her longing show. “Would you like sex to be on or off the table?”
