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I raise my shirt, unashamed of her name on my stomach or the cuts she’s left on my body. “I’m not the only one,” I say.
He nods, but I can tell there’s more. “It’s not healthy for her. For Liliya, that kind of damage could be catastrophic.”
“How?” She enjoys it. Gets off on it, and I’m always careful with her.
“Emotionally.” With that, he parks a few streets down from where my wife is being held. “She did it before she came here, didn’t she?” I confirm. “So it’s emotional for her. She feels like she needs the release for relief. Eventually, she’ll need more. So much more that one cut won’t be enough. Won’t be deep enough.” It dawns on me what he’s saying.
“You believe she could kill herself?” He nods, leaving me to consider what he’s said as he gets out and heads to the back. The look on his face is grim as he works. “How do I help her?”
“I wish I had that answer for you, kid, but you know we’ll be here for both of you, right? Whatever you guys need, we are always here.” I do know that. I’ve not doubted it once since Vasyl and Nadia adopted me just shy of my eighteenth birthday. “Start by getting to the root of the problem…when she started, why she started. Listen to her. Be her rock, her safe place. Make sure she knows that when she falls apart, it can always be in your arms.”
If someone had said I could be a safe place for someone else, I’d have laughed in their face and cut off a finger or two, but everything changed when I spotted Liliya that first time. And again, when I touched her, when she looked at me like I meant something to her. I was more than a killer to her. More than an abused boy.
Now, I want nothing more than to be her safety net, her protector, her lover. The one she finds comfort, love, and joy with.
“I can do that,” I state, and Vasyl grins foolishly.
“For her, I know you can, kid; wouldn’t think otherwise.” Clapping me on the shoulder and squeezing, he hands me a Kevlar vest before we grab our weapons and head towards the other vehicles.
I watch the house as Vasyl hands out instructions. When I spot one of the men near the fence line with his back to me, I move stealthily before grabbing him from behind and slicing his throat, not even realizing what’s happening. His body drops to the ground, eyes dead, blood pumping from the gaping wound. Satisfaction rolls through me as I continue up to the main house, hidden by the trees lining the driveway.
Vasyl curses behind me. Annoyed I went without him and the men he brought. This is one mission I could have done on my own. There is nothing that can or will stop me from reaching my destination. My only goal is to get to Liliya and ensure her safety. After that, my wrath will know no bounds.
EIGHTEEN
LILIYA
Groaning as I roll over, I stare out the window as snowflakes fall from the sky. Dark clouds block out the sun, matching my mood.
Hopeless and sad.
I was certain, absolutely certain, Dez would come last night. It bolstered my courage and kept me from backing down from my father and Yosyp’s interrogations. For hours, they questioned me about what’s happened since Dez bought me and cut off my father’s finger. With every answer they didn’t approve of, I was left with a new bruise, a new mark.
When I was finally tossed into my room, Yosyp took immense pleasure in tearing the clothes from my body, discovering my very hard-kept secret. When he saw that I’d engraved Dez’s name on my stomach, he grew enraged. Worse than I’d ever seen him.
My face is swollen, I’m sure my wrist is broken, and when I breathe, I want to scream, so it’s likely he broke a rib or two. But adrenaline and fear kept me from passing out. I knew if I did, he might settle himself between my legs, and that was the very last thing I wanted. So I toughed it out, endured the beating, and waited until he grew tired of watching me cry before slamming his way out of my room and locking me in.
After crawling into bed and wrapping the blankets as tight around myself as I could, I haven’t moved since. I waited and waited for Dez to arrive, but he hasn’t shown, and now I’m wondering if he’s realized that I’m not worth the trouble. It’s been my biggest fear since meeting him. My father enjoys making everyone around him miserable, so of course, I don’t blame Dez. He needs to cut his losses. I only wish I weren’t the sacrifice.
I don’t know how long I’ll be here, and as I finally move to get up, I’m reminded of why I remained immobile. Everything hurts, but my wrist and chest send fiery pain to every part of me. Settling back down, I decide to stay here a while, hiding under the blankets, too afraid to visually examine my body and take note of the damage.
Focusing on the snow as it falls, I feel wetness on my cheeks and realize I’m crying. The tears fall as steadily as the wonderland outside, and I don’t know if I can contain it anymore. Everything I’ve been pushing to the back of my mind rushes forth like a raging storm, and I’m swept up in the whirlwind.
A noise comes from outside my door. I wipe my cheeks and shut my eyes in the hopes that whoever it is will leave me be if they think I’m asleep. I don’t want to be forced back into my father’s office, to endure another round of interrogations and beatings. I won’t survive it.
The door creaks as it’s opened, and I hold my breath as silence follows whoever has entered. When the bed dips in front of me, I nearly whimper but bite my tongue until I taste blood.
A gentle finger traces across one of the fresh bruises on my jaw, and my eyes pop open. I’d know that touch anywhere.
“You came,” I gasp and practically faint as I toss my battered body into Dez’s arms.
Carefully, he wraps me in his welcoming embrace as he pulls me into his lap. “I would never leave you.” He’s rigid as he holds me, rubbing soothing hands up and down my naked flesh. “Who did this to you, Liliya?” The unrestrained rage in his tone makes me smile.
Pulling back, I meet his incensed stare. “Will you take me home, Dez, please?” I don’t care about anything else but leaving this place and never returning.
“After you tell me who hurt you?” The way he gently cups my jaw is a direct contradiction to the venom in his words. His body ripples with fury, and mine begins to react to this.
I jerk away when I hear a noise behind me, and the connection is severed. Turning, I find Vasyl standing in the doorway, his eyes roaming the fresh marks on my back before our gazes clash. “Never should have happened.” He growls his words, his own anger reflected in them.
