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“And I knowthatlook. I know that look ‘cause it’s the same look I give you every mornin’ we wake up and every night before we go to bed and at least a baker’s dozen times in between.”
It's impossible not to melt into my heated seat.
“Not spendin’ most of the holiday with you and the girls was never part of my plan, however-”
“No need for a fancy but, Cowboy.”
“However, I couldn’t just let what happened to me, happen to someone else.”
“And I know that. And I know exactly what I signed up for in this friendship as much as this marriage.”
His adoring hand caress comes a tad too soon.
“However-”
“Oh, so,youneeded the fancy but.”
“However,” my tone firms up, “our girls don’t.”
He shoots me a puzzled glance.
“Theydon’tknow what it really means to have you running the training sector of R&R. And I get tired of having to be the one to explain to them why daddy isn’t around for things likeNochebuena. And why he had to miss walking them into class on their first day of school. And why he wasn’t around to give their homemade Father’s Day cards to.” Unable to stop the emotional floodgate has me adding, “And why he has to be gone six weeks for a new assignment right after Christmas-”
“I was gonna tell you about that tonight.”
“And I don’t wanna be the one who has to tell them why he had to miss their prom to attend K9 training classes to assist in wooded area rescues. And why their high school graduation wasn’t as important as training new recruits to dive off yachts to save drowning newborns – which is one of the lower risk scenarios given that there are easier ways to dispose of them if a resale isn’t the intention.”
“Now, who’s soundin’ a little too ‘Tell-Tale Heart’?”
“And why Dad couldn’t wait to complete his paramedic recertification so that’s why Uncle T orAbueloor Grandpa or Pop has to be the one to walk them down the aisle-”
“There’s no fuckin’ way I’m gonna miss those moments, Arley.Any of them.”
“Newsflash, Cowboy. You’realreadymissin’ those moments.”
This time his mouth cracks open, yet nothing comes out.
“Those momentsarethese moments. The only difference is age.”
Once more his mouth twitches but doesn’t release a round.
“And yeah, some of these things they won’t remember, but some of them theywill.And I want them to remember Daddy being a part oftheir world, not just that he was off saving everyone else’s.”
To my surprise, Slater smashes his lips together a second time.
Swallows whatever anger or sadness my speech conjured.
And gives me a solitary nod that’s followed by a painfully faint, “Copy that.”
Chapter 5
Slater
It doesn’t matter that I haven’t eaten a real meal in over twenty-four hours.
That I could really use a shot of caffeine.
That I’m probably gonna get less than four hours of sleep tonight because that’s how the holiday always goes.
