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“You smell like alphas.”
I stiffen and lift my head, pinning her with a long look.
“What do you intend to do?” Trin hisses.
“Don’t you worry, I have it handled.” I say back and grimace as the food threatens to come back up.
“You’re looking for a pack?” Trin grips my wrist, dragging my eyes to her alarmed face. “But you’re an omega. If you find one, you’ll be trapped forever.” She passes me a folded piece of paper that I open and hold up to the light.
‘Go to the library tomorrow. Get me a book or two. Mum.’
Sure, mum, why not, I have nothing better to do.
“Yeah, I know it, Trin. But we gotta eat. And the choices are starving, find someone bigger and scarier than me, or I become prey to one of the packs I want nothing to do with. Not good options all around, but I’m doing my best.”
Trin sits back, her face stark. “You can’t fall in with a pack. Anything is better than that.”
I freeze at the horror in her tone and turn my body towards her. If I’m careful, maybe I can get some answers out of her. “Trin?”
She blinks and scuttles back. “I have to go. Um. Outside. I have to go outside.”
And my sister, my older sister that I love, runs from me and whatever memory is giving her that look of terror and bringing the scent of burning to my nose.
I take ten minutes to calm down enough to focus on getting ready for bed. Trin creeps back into the room an hour later, but I pretend to be asleep. The tension in her eases, and I know I’ve made the right decision.
But in the cold, dark night, the stresses and worries pound at my head, refusing to let me sleep. Where am I going to find money for food? What if Elise’s cough gets worse and we need medicine? Muse needs shoes for school. Trin needs a therapist and clothes that fit. The bathroom needs to be cleaned. My heat’s due soon, so getting a job is impossible. I’m almost out of suppressants. Three packs know I’m an omega, and that number is only going to increase.
The only answer that comes is that I need a miracle.
I walk the girls to their school and watch as they blend in with the other students, though blend is wishful thinking. Even for the poor end of town, our level of poverty stands out like dog balls.
Our mother hasn’t been here since the day she signed them up. I grind my teeth, wishing that I could be more for them. I see the disappointment in their eyes, the hunger, the shame, the fucking fear, and I’m helpless to protect them. While she sits at home and cries.
I catch the scent of raspberries and instantly blank my mind, thinking desperately about white noise until I’m calm. The scent dissipates with only one old beta giving me a long, searching look. I turn away from him, ashamed and frustrated.
I rub my hand over my eyes and walk away, putting as much distance between me and my sisters as I can. The thought of going home makes my stomach tighten painfully, so I take my mother’s request and turn right at the intersection, making my way towards the public library.
A hand grips my forearm, and I jerk myself free, spinning, and put three feet between me and the person accosting me. My heart thunders, but my stomach drops painfully when I see who it is. Eli is huge and dumb and thinks he’s irresistible. I remember going to school with him. I was invisible to him then, so I got a firsthand account of how foul a man he’s grown to become. One event always plays on my mind, hearing him brag about nailing a woman who was unconscious at a party. It still makes me want to vomit. I remember seeing the girl the next day, unsure and defensive, trying to work out the whispers, the betrayal in her eyes as she looked at all her so-called friends, when she looked at the boy she’d hoped to date and realised that love is often another word for pain.
I trudge up the steps; I can’t turn and walk away, but there’s plenty of people walking on the surrounding street. He can’t do anything to me here. I have to tell myself that a few times before I calm enough to force my legs to move. He falls into step beside me. The overpowering scent of peppermint makes my stomach clench and bile race up my throat.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
“I have a name.” I snap, side-eyeing the huge alpha beside me. His hair is messy, and he runs his fingers through it, messing it up further. He’s aesthetically handsome. But his eyes are cruel, and his lips are too thin. If I hadn’t seen what I’d seen in school and on the streets, I might not see the malice in the way he leans over me.
I remember him bragging about taking Linda’s virginity outside the toilets at school. And I remember the cat he maimed, laughing as it yowled. I remember holding it and running away, my heart slamming in my chest as I tried to hide us both. The cruel teen grew into a beautiful man and got even meaner.
I don’t want him.
“Mm, but you are beautiful, and I like telling you.”
I ignore him and push open the glass door. Lillian looks up, her gaze going to Eli and falling in displeasure. I love this woman. She is everything I want to be when I grow up. Spicy as fuck, strong, independent, and takes no prisoners. She holds her arms over her chest and gives him a leaden look.
“Eli, don’t tell me you’ve taken up reading? I must say I am surprised. My faith in humanity is restored!”
I hide a smile as he glowers. Lillian is thin but muscular, toned and tall. She reminds me of the Amazon’s in the text books I've studied. Somehow, she gives off this kick ass warrior vibe. Eli is afraid of her, he’d never admit it, but I can scent the sourness of his fear.
“You’re such a bitch, Lillian.”
